A whole new life with you.

Happy New Year.

2012-01-01T13:57:00.002+08:00

Titanium - David Guetta Feat. Sia

Happy New Year to one and all. Yep, we made it to 2012 and all I'm saying is that this year, I wanna drink less, make more of myself and not die. Well hey, if it is the end of the world then I guess I won't be able to fulfill my last resolution.

Raise your glass for all that happened in 2011 and drink fast because 2012 is gonna be crazy. =)

Lazy Bitch.

2011-11-26T00:09:00.002+08:00

Hangover - Taio Cruz

I wanna partay. All the fuckin time and I think it's crazy but the feeling is waaay too good to pass up. Oh god I think I was born to party. My nickname? The Golden Retriever. HAHAHHAHA! I'm definitely gonna be laughing to myself when I read this back. Ah the times.

Well I spent my off day doing completely NOTHING. And it was TORTURE. No seriously. I felt like a useless and worthless pile of trash. It was insane la tell you. Think I'm still at that age where I don't wanna laze around and waste my day. The sleep was good, don't get me wrong. LOL!

Well at least I got the chance to play Vista and that was pretty awesome. Was there early and saw some kids kickin' about and there in one team were brothers. The other were two friends but it was when the brothers that stole my attention. The way they were communicating, passing and arguing who should be doing what. The passion. I miss that. Once upon a time, there was a brother's cup that was coveted by Vik, muhes, my brother and I. Those were simpler times. When everything was a about was was better in soccer and nothing else mattered. And whatever happened, we always remained close.

What happened to that? Sometimes it makes me feel that maturing is more like hating than anything else. I ever had problems with making friends in primary and secondary school but things have changed soo much now. I get pissed and I just do whatever I want.

I want to say that I don't like who I am now but I only have myself to blame for who I am. Fuck.

Just a thought.

2011-10-26T02:49:00.002+08:00

100 years - Five for Fighting

Its that moment. Yes, when you're staring into blank space and you just begin to think about all you've done till now. C'mon, don't lie to yourself, you know you've had it. Be it once or twice or countless times, you know what I'm talking about.

Weirdly enough, I must say this is quite a fitting song to be listening to. Heh! Well well, here I am in the States. Never thought I'd actually get here for free but hey, I'm not complaining. Though next time, I'd like to be here to take a real holiday. And hopefully it'll be with my baby girl. That'll be nice. No worries about where I am with her. No complains. Except that I miss her too much. In fact I worry I maybe a little dependent her. More than I'd like but know her, it's exactly what she wants. Rachel's like that. She's pure and the only thing she wants is to make me happy. I know it. Best part? She doesn't go out of her way. I know that sounds stupid but when you think about it, it's those extravagant notions of love that makes one partner feel out of place. Simply because to reciprocate would be impossible. That was she does for me. She makes me feel that I meant to be there, beside her, always.

She is the best thing that's happened to me till now. Of that I'm sure. =)

On other aspects, I'm a little disappointed. But I think out of that I've learnt a very painful truth. My friends still can't seem to agree with each other and it's caused problems between them. This means that my family's split. I can't believe I'm saying it but I'm done. I'm too tired. And as much as I hate it to admit it, I tried everything and failed. Social media has triumphed once again. Not has it rocked the world wide web as we know it but it's also cause my family to split. I believe a lot of this could be avoided without social media. Nothing would change their personalities but I feel that social media hastened the split.

And the lesson I've learnt? Just like how ordinary families see parent separate, kids leave the home and relatives unable to agree with other, I guess I must deal with the fact that my perfect family will no longer be one solid structure.

How is this going to affect our lives is something I have to leave to fate. I tried my best but with the number of times this has occured, I know it's out of my hands. As ridiculous as it sounds, all I can do is HOPE for things to be fine.

Argh, I hate this. 15 days till I'm home.

Hell yeah!! I think..

2011-10-12T10:04:00.002+08:00

piped music from mac's at northpoint.

well well. the day's finally come when i making my way to the states. hell, i never thought i'd be doing it soo soon and alone but wth.. i'm heading there for free!!

honestly, i'm scared but soo freakin excited at the same time. i also hate the fact that i gotta leave her and my loved ones for a whole month for for a chance to see the states, i think the sacrifice is worth it:) damn, the states. finally!!:)

do forgive me for the annoying feeling you're getting for my lack of capitalising the letter that should be. my phone's being retarded as usual.

Messed Up

2011-09-30T21:11:00.001+08:00

The frustration I have is selfish, shallow and sickens me to my stomach. But... I cannot ignore it.

I hate this part right here.

Oh gawd damn.

2011-09-19T21:22:00.004+08:00

Fireball - Dev

Woah. Been ages since I last wrote ey. Maaan. And with no surprise, I have no fuckin idea where I should start. Hmmmm..

Well actually, now that I think about it, I should be an NSman by now but hey, no regrets. My 1 year anniversary just passed as an officer and I'm still loving everyday of it. I mean, I'm doing a hell lot of extras but as I said before, I knew what I was getting myself into when I did what I did and I feel that as long as I think positively, I know I'll make it through this just fine. Thank god for all those super vigilant Armskote ICs that saved my ass countless of times. Heh!

Well, on the note of positivity, I'm honestly happy where I am in life and how much has changed with the situation of my friends and everything else la. I mean everything is good but there's still something that eating at me. Dev. I feel like he's crumbling and I'm not there for him. Work isn't helping because now is insane crunch time and there's like too much to freaking do and think about la. It's annoying but that's just how it is. I hate complaining but I guess besides my friends, this is my only outlet. I want to make things better for him but he being who he is isn't trying to listen at all. And I know what he's going through at work is not helping at all. Damn. I wish I can say I understand him but honestly, I can't.

Today I told one of my men, who is also a good friend, something that even surprised me. I told him that I'd rather solve other people's problems rather than my own. He said it's a good thing because it means I put others before myself. I disagreed and said no, I'm no angel nor am I am trying to make myself one. I just feel like it's much easier to involve myself in other people's issues to make it seem as though I have none of my own. Ignorance is bliss? I'd like to be politically correct but honestly, I have no solid opinion.

Rest.

2011-05-21T01:44:00.001+08:00

I'm up, you sleep.

I wanna head to bed you say you wanna study and then head to bed.

NICE.

Rejected.

2011-05-17T22:28:00.002+08:00

Never gonna leave this bed - Maroon 5

First the extras and now mum calls me to say that SMU has sent the letter saying that I've been rejected but hey, they do wish me the best for my future. Two smacks in a month. Yes, MY BIRTHDAY MONTH.

What future do I have if I don't get my ass into a Uni you tell me. FUCK.

But I must admit, I have been prepping myself to receive this because no matter what, I knew I didn't make the cut but I did whatever I could less a recommendation from my CO. Still, not even an interview? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I guess it's down to plan B now. Part time Uni-SIM. Now all I need is the window to do my night classes. Probably need to start to talking to people about that. Annoying that I can't talk about work here but hey, what needs to be done must be done. It's ok though. I have avenues I can resort to for this.

Listening to some people, I'm soo close to getting a loan to get me into a private Uni here to just simply get my pay grade up. That might be another choice but I reckon I should talk to the people at my place to where it's recognised. Sekali get the fucking degree and they're like, sorry but your pay grade's gonna stay the same. Then, I'll truly be fucked.

Wish me luck. Though sometimes, I feel I need more than that.

21.

2011-05-07T02:09:00.002+08:00

Top of the World - The Cataracs

Fucked up. Got 21 for my staying out but I'm ok with it. Felt that somehow, someway, I did what I set out to do and I pray she feels it to. I know I did what was right because there's no way anyone would give me what I, what we needed, unless I told them everything which is something I'd never contemplate doing. Period.

Besides that, stuff at work is good and that's probably the most I can say. LOL! Rachel's been an angel and she's doing pretty good in school. I managed to get everything I've wanted so far but there's much much more to work for. So case in point, I can't stop pushing myself. Gotta work out for BAC and hit the books for my undergraduate program thingy. Sounds lie uni entry but I promise you, it isn't. LOL! It's only 8 weeks long thing but apparently it's pretty awesome.

Kinda sinking in that I'm probably not gonna get the call from SMU. I mean, I honestly felt I did my best but you know, results are results. I fucked up in Poly and I guess I'm paying for it now. But c'mon, you know me, I've got a plan B. It's pretty crazy and gonna take me sometime but I'm going to do it. Yep, part-time degree. I mean it ain't easy and it sure as hell isn't full fledged but I'm gonna go ahead and work that option out if SMU doesn't call. I can't afford to waste anymore time. Every year wasted is a year my life goals get pushed back.

Marrying her and crossed my mind countless times this week and yes, it's waaaaay before I got caught for staying out. Well, I didn't ACTUALLY got caught. But hey, who's keeping score right? Back to it, I want our wedding to be kickass. And I want the proposal to be kickass too. She deserves it. And so do I. Shocking that I'm selfish? I know of a couple of people that wouldn't be.

Loner.

2011-05-03T21:06:00.001+08:00

I've always been okay around people and making friends has never been an issue

But somehow I just don't fit in now and yes, it bugs me a whole lot.

Wtf I am doing wrong?

Relevance vs Change

2011-04-09T14:31:00.005+08:00

More - Usher

It was like an epiphany. Hit me yesterday while I was just sparing myself sometime to think.

The need to be relevant and the change that comes with it.

Why this even came to mind is a wonder but I guess it just came while I was thinking about work and whether I was missing a lot while I'm on MC. Things like that worry me and sometimes I feel that's gonna make me a workaholic. But then again I'm a fucking slacker and everyone knows that so I think I'll be fine. Moving on.

Everyone gets that in order to stay relevant to the times of today, we need to make changes in the way we live life, the way we wear our clothes etc. so that we don't fall out of the loop. That is what life is like to me. A loop. But it's an ever changing loop that if you take a step back, reoccurs every few years. But that's just me. But IF that's true then why bother changing at all.

Sometimes, I feel it's our NEED to stay relevant and that's why we end up changing ourselves and the way we live life. The need to stay relevant IS our way of life and we're sucked into this never ending vortex because of all the influences and avenues by which change is portrayed to be the way to live life. Think about it, life was never this way before the internet, agreed?

Now, if what I wrote is hypothetically true, then is it not possible that it could be our NEED to be relevant that changes arises. Which means that we create the change just so we have something to be relevant to. So did change come first or the need to be relevant? Maybe I'm comparing apples with oranges but I'd figure otherwise.

Probably it's just another attempt for me to rant. Well in that case, sorry to put you through that.

Tattoo

2011-04-08T21:41:00.002+08:00

Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold

Having on of those secondary school moments thus the reason for Ax7. Heh!

Anyways, as far as I can remember, I've always wanted to get a tattoo and on my shoulder blade but I never knew exactly what I wanted. Now I'm sure and I'm gonna get it on the 23rd muthafuckers!!

The setback? $950!! I almost flipped when I heard the price. But I'll be fine I think. Not too sure about my friends and my mum though. Insane shit. But it's for life so yea, I've pretty much set my mind on it. The artist has like 15 years of history so basically, I'M STOKED.

Not sure if I'll get another but I'll definitely update once I get it. Sometimes I don't know why the fuck I do what I do but fuck it, I'll do it anyways. Life's too short.

Surgery!

2011-04-06T22:36:00.002+08:00

Speak now - Taylor Swift

Don't blame me, Rach's selection. LOL!

Anyways, had my back surgery for the lipoma that was there. Basically, a lump of fat. LOL! Yes, I'm soo fat that, like a camel, I have to store it in back. LOL!

The camel thing only came to me today. Weird how my mind works. Well the op hurt like a bitch because trying to be a man, I opted for local anesthesia. Fucking bad idea. If you ever have to do an op, go for GA. The doc didn't place enough so while he was scraping out the fats, he hit a spot that was injucted with LA and eventually I shrieked. FUCKING PAIN. No no you don't get it. It MUTHA FUCKING HURT! But yeah, me being me just tried to tahan la and eventually, he just kept stabbing me with the LA every time I jerked. yes I know, this should be on FML.com. Heh!

Besides that, I got a 14 day MC of which I 'm only taking 2 days. Afraid I'd miss too much at work and plus being missing isn't a good thing especially at the start of my career, if I could call it that.

I hope it heals up in while. Planning to get my tattoo done next week and still contemplating on getting my off-road hardtail that costs like $700. Like I said, it's a plan. Let's see how it all pans out. Thanks for being here. I like doing this.

Stumped.

2011-04-04T20:33:00.002+08:00

Do it like a dude - Jessie J

Need a break. Seriously.

I just want to run away because this bullshit is simply getting out of hand and it's not something that I want to deal with now. Just got to know that I might be posted out of my unit sooner than expected which is not something I'd like to happen anytime soon. FUCK. I want to go to the States with them and kinda stick around because I was just getting used to the life there and plus I was just starting to get a hang of how things ran in the unit.

Promotion's here but there's nothing to be happy about. I thought I'd be smiling and everything would be going my way but it's the opposite. And basically one external factor is constantly staring me down waiting for it's opportunity to pounce and knock me out when I'm already down.

I'm not going to let it. This is my written promise that will get up every time I'm down. I'm going to stare straight back it and succeed. I have people who believe and love me and only want me to reach greater heights. The most important factor? My baby girl.

But I just read her blog and honestly, I think I take her for granted. But mostly, I'm afraid. I'm too fucking ball-less to hear what's she going to say because I know that there's nothing I can do about it except let her know that I'm here for her. And even I truly know that that's not always possible.

This is one of those moments that you want a punching bag because you feel like you've been the punching bag for too long.

Need to bounce back before it engulfs me.

WTF

2011-03-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

Sound of Letting Go- Dabid Guetta

How do you forgive someone?

No seriously. Explain this to me. I can't forgive myself for wtf I've done in my past and yet somehow, some people can just forgive themselves and act as though nothing has ever happened.

It baffles me at how fucking ignorant he is about this whole thing. And he just keeps going like nothing's ever happened. I'm fucking sick and tired of suffering because of him. I could be saving soo much more money right now. I should be concentrating on my future. Instead here I am wondering if my mum has enough money and whether the family will be fine. I hate was happened and I just needed a space to rant. Thank god I have here to do it.

I hate how it's affecting Rachel and sometimes I feel it affects us as well. Fuck. And I know I should do the right thing by always being there for her but sometimes I guess I just have the fucked up need to selfish. I guess a leopard really never changes its spots. I'm the same fucker that I was before and nothing has or ever will change.

Maybe it's not his fault. Maybe everything happens for a reason. Maybe it's just life letting me know that hey, you're a jackass so I'm being one to.

On a different note, I readied my stuff to for Uni Admissions. Doubt I'll get it with the way things are going now but hey, at least you can give me credit for trying. Or more like I'm giving myself credit for trying. Whatever, you get what I mean.

Well I've got a People Development lecture to attend tomorrow. Good luck with that. Night.

When you have a bad day...

2011-03-10T21:39:00.002+08:00

Who's that Chick - Rihanna and my man, Guetta.

Fucked up. Past few days, I've been having bad days. As in not that pissed or anything but I just feel zoned out and not motivated to do anything. Actually the only times I feel like doing anything is when I'm exercising. I really want to lose weight la. I'm starting to look like a fat blob and it's not helping this bad day thing I'm having. But at least I enjoy running. Hmmm.. I also blame it on the fact that my fucking headphones aren't working and thus I'm not getting my daily fix of music which mostly starts my day off on a good foot. Argh. Stupid.

Anyways, I'm not supposed to be home but I am. Yes I know, wtf. All because I was trying to get my stuff for Uni settled and left my 11B in the fucking photocopier. Can someone spell genius? Yes, once again, not helping my bad day thing. But hey, I'm going to try to make this something positive and run from here to CAMP! Yes you read that right, from Sembawang to Khatib Camp now who's with me? HAHAHAHAHA! I honestly have no idea how the hell it's going to turn out but you know what? I'm excited!

At least with all this bad day shit, running still finds a way to place some excitement in my life. Fuck, there's something drastically wrong with me. Heh!

My Solace

2011-02-26T13:17:00.002+08:00

Marry Me- Train

So we're happy. Really happy=) In my last post, I felt I left the present out of the picture completely. And hey, that's not right. Because most importantly, I failed to include the important part of my present, Rachel Anne Preece.

Also, thing with my mum is much better. As in it was all a big misunderstanding by all the parties involved. This includes my dad as well so yea, it's much better now so yea, I'm glad we like thrashed things out and hmmm, it was all good. Though the incident was brought up alot, I feel the only way to get over it maybe only by talking about it? I don't know but seriously, I want that to get out the way.

Rachel has been making life much easier to deal with and she's always there when I need a listening ear and of course it's vice versa. It's tough to be in an environment that is unfamiliar but having someone soo loving and caring and ADORABLE really helps with the situation. So without a doubt, we doing our best.

Kinda sucks that Dev and Ghazman are not in country. Really miss them already. Vik's birthday is coming soon so I wonder what we're gonna plan to surprise him. Heh! Can't wait! Well it's off to pick Rachel up from work and collect the PC from Lala's place.

You know what that means, more BEJEWELLED FOR ME!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ok lame. Heh!

Closure?

2011-02-25T18:21:00.002+08:00

Gettin Over You- David guetta and a hell lot of other people

So hey, I read Sarrah's blog pretty often and that's no surprise but something tells me she reads mine too! HAHA!!

Well basically it comes from her most recent post and I guess the purpose of why I never made this blog private in the first place is to actually get her to read it. Though once again I can't confirm that except through look at the referring sites of people who view my blog. Lata's blog is one of them and of course Sarrah reads her blog right? Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, bottom line is that she got word of my trouble and she's found closure .

That might sound really fucked up but to me it's good. Honestly, I contemplated texting her to wish her good luck and that karma has smacked me back in my face but I decided not to. It would only spoil her mood and probably cause her to hate me even more. Somehow I just felt tat things would just turn out that way.

I'm really okay with it. As in, I've always known that she's never forgiven me for being the bastard that I am and I knew it was impossible for her to forgive me when I myself cannot forgive myself. Seriously, it's not the way I wanted things to go but it did and I have to live with it. Maybe not for every single moment of my life but it'll always be at the back of my head staring at me when I recollect whenever I'm alone.

My wish for her? That she never has to go through what I put her through and I just truly want her to be happy. Closure is the first step so hopefully, my wish for her does come through. Australia is definitely a good place to start and she can get the ang moh dude she's always dreamt of. I really think it's what her parents want as well. HAHA!

As for me? I'm off to go see my dearest DARKY!!!! Been ages since I last saw her and I bet it's going to be a laughter filled couple of hours. Shit, I'm going to be late.

Valentine's

2011-02-15T19:36:00.002+08:00

Life after you - Daughtry

Honestly, I didn't plan anything nor did I want to plan anything because to me, it's over rated. But the one thing that made me want to write about today, Rachel's text to me when she was on the way back to our place.

"You're the underlying reason to everything I do. There's not one day that goes by without me thinking of you, missing you. You really are the best part of me and without you, I know I wouldn't be okay. You're no longer a want baby, you're a Need. It's insane how much I love you and how sure I am that you are the man I want to marry and have kids with. No matter what, I know we can make it through anything as long as we have each other.You deserve only the best and I owe you so much more than a thank you. :) but thank you for everything. I love you baby! Happy Valentine's."

Tell me how do I every conceive the thought of leaving her? It's impossible and it's the little things that she does that just solidifies her place in my heart, my life. Just like her, I can't imagine spending my life with anyone else. And I will do anything and everything to keep her by my side.

Thank you God for placing her in my life.=)

Money Matters.

2011-02-13T12:09:00.002+08:00

Stereo Love- Edward Maya feat. Alicia

Wah. Money can really be a bitch I tell you. And it's starting to cause my hair to grey and fall out in large amounts. Argh!

I need to get rid of my freaking broadband that costs me like $50 a month and like dad continously texts me asking if I passed mum the money. Oh god. I missed one month. ONE FREAKING MONTH!! Fair? I don't know. Apparently giving him a second chance is ok you know but me missing one fucking payment is a fucking huge deal. Annoying? You fucking bet. Haiz.

Room? umm.. We got a blanket and a pillow. Rina's being an angel again and just told us she want to pass us her COMPUTER!! NICEEEEE!!! But umm.. Space is a small issue. I'm getting used to this idea and things are moving along pretty well at this point. Every friday's clean the room day, thursday's laundry. I try to come back every night so Rachel never has to be alone here. Being alone here can take quite a toll and it's normally when I'm alone that I find myself here. Typing my life away.

I can't help but just wish things were different. That none of this had to happen. That if only I never was.. Ah fuck.. See what I mean by being alone can be quite a hassle. I pray no one close to me has to go through this. It's not any fun but I must say, I doing my best to take this positively and to find the brighter side to our times here.

This is where we begin. But I know it's definitely not where we'll end.=)

Fucking sian

2011-02-10T00:07:00.001+08:00

Maybe I get frustrated too easily but honestly, sometimes it just feels she does things to get her way and then just drops it like she never said anything.

FUCKING ANNOYING. Ugh.

Time for bed. I have a lot more to say but just not the mood. Night.

CNY

2011-02-04T11:42:00.002+08:00

Bass Down Low - The Cataracs

Fucking addicted to this song. Damn you Andy.

Anyways, the CNY holidays are here. Not bad except for the fact that there's nothing to fucking do! Thus, the officially hated holiday? CNY. PERIOD. I'm not a racist for sure but seriously, every fucking store on every corner closed? Then holiday for FUCK! Best part? everyone flocks to the freaking cinema. Yes, unless you're creativy or a romantic or a really good cook, there is actually nothing else to do here. It's the unfortunate truth. And me being my lazy self didn't bother cracking my head to figure out what Rach and I should do so we just headed out for a run. Yes, that's how we rebel. We're the most notorious activists you'll every meet. Heh! I suprise even myself with how lame I can get.

Felt that stupid homesick feeling yesterday. It lasted no more than a minute but it came to me and I didn't like it. Damn. I didn't think it'd set in so quickly. Not cool. The guys have been there throughout but honestly, I can't depend on them forever. We forgot to bring the gate key when we went out for our run yesterday and kinda made the owners come back to pass us the key. He really was pissed. Shit. It's not the same if this was family. It's with someone I'm not aquainted with. Fuck.

But I don't know. Why I am being such a baby? Honestly, there's Sam and so many other people out there that leave home to study and stuff. Maybe the reason to why you leave home matters? I want to believe otherwise. I need to. Because I don't think I'd like another homesick relapse.

The realistic optimist. This is the role I wanna play. Rach needs it and I DEFINITELY need this. Wish me luck.

Shack Tuesday.

2011-02-01T20:37:00.002+08:00

Grenade - Bruno Mars

We woke up late today! Like wtf! Hahahaha! Rachel purposely took MC yesterday so like she wouldn't be late for work so as to not get marked down and here we were, up at 6.20. Nice. Heh! And how did we react? She turned to me, looked at me and just pouted. ADORABLE! I'm sorry but yes, that's how I felt. And we just started laughing crazy after that. Hmmm.. nonetheless, we took a cab and she got to work 30 mins late. I, of course, wasn't late but I just felt kinda bad because me oversleeping is probably the reason why she's even late.

Well the highlight of my day is this very sweet and thoughtful gesture demonstrated by Rach's sister in law. She simply passed her the deposit I paid for the room. In full. And even an extra $300 on top of it. I just can't comprehend this. As much as I think of it, I just can't get over the fact that someone can just support our cause without even knowing why we're doing this. Why we put ourselves into this position. But I'm thankful. SOO freaking thankful for their generousity. I just wish there was someway I could repay them for their kindness, I wish there was a way Rach and I could show our appreciation for all the people who have helped us tremendously during this tough period.

I get this feeling that sometimes people just look at us and think to themselves, how can this two just smile and go on with the days of their life so carefree. My friends, this is hardly the case. I live each day with thoughts and reasons to test why I even live each day the way I do. I can't even imagine what goes through her mind. But what I do know is that I've got too much to live for, too much to look forward to. I'm not going to look back and tell myself that I regret reliving my past to often to enjoy my present.

I like the way that sounded.

Bad day turn good.

2011-01-31T21:13:00.003+08:00

Please don't go - Mike Posner

Bad day at work so all I wanted to do was run back home. No seriously. Run. HAHA!

It was an insane feeling but then I guess it's kinda impossible since like I gotta bring my wallet and everything back to my place so I just decided to be civil and head back home as a normal person would.

Got home to my love and she was being a lazy pig as usual. But today, she wanted to go jogging! So hey, not too bad I thought to myself. I'll still go running but as far as I would. How wrong I was. I barely broke a SWEAT! HAHAHA!

Looking at the way we're going, Rachel needs a lot of work. And since running is one of my all-time-quite-ok-at -doing things, I'm gonna help her. I just hope this collaboration is going to work out. Lol!

As for my space? I guess I'm getting used to it. Running around the estate kinda gave me a good feeling and I suppose I'll be doing it more often. I guess good things can come out from tough situations. You just gotta have a diamond right by your side.

Lash out.

2011-01-30T14:16:00.002+08:00

I'm tired.

"Don't take it too seriously."

Seriously mum. Seriously!? I can't begin to explain the amount of anger and frustration I feel now. How does what my mum say like half the time even make sense to me. Or to anyone else for that matter. It doesn't. And the way she goes about saying things is on a level that even I cannot comprehend.

I'm afraid that her priorities lie somewhere where I'm not going to be happy.

It's fucked up for a son to say that but the more I listen to her reasons, the more I feel that the only person she's thinking about is herself. I've only been wanting to do what I think is right. And for very good reason, I feel that I'm failing miserably. My dad's starting to lose his weight on her opinions as well and I think he's just gonna step aside and see how this plays out.

Time.

That's something I've not been given. And it's not something that anyone's willing to give at this moment because what they want is change. Change that will make them feel at ease. Change that will put a smile on their face without holding back anything because there is no baggage to hold them back. Change is not going to come if you don't give it time. And even if there was change, nothing can erase what has happened. NOTHING.

Probably I feel so strongly about it because the event is recent. The feelings are still fresh in mind. If that's the case then fine, give me time and maybe, just maybe things might be different. But let me warn you, maybe is weak. It's a word that comes with no promise and commitment. It's simply a hope. And with what I've been through, I'm done with hope. So I'd advice you do the same.

I personally feel I've been abusing this blog. I write when I want to. I leave you on hiatus for god knows how long. And when things are shit again, I'm back here. Maybe I'm only acting the way I've been treated. Yep, it's that word again, maybe.

A Week's gone by.

2011-01-30T00:07:00.002+08:00

Hey Soul Sister- Train

So week 1 has passed by and hey, I'm still here in Sembawang. That's a good start, I guess.

Well it was the best feeling when Anga and Vik insisted we have home cooked food. Like I don't why, but that thought just ,meant alot to me. Like I mean that's the basic thing you lack when you're not in your own home you know. Plus we're not really allowed to cook here so yeah, when they offered to pass us home cooked food, I just felt like tearing up. It's not something you expect from a friend and yet it come naturally for them. Sometimes blood isn't just about red liquid that run through your veins. My friends have thought me that.

Tash and Vas joined Rach and I for a movie. The Green Hornet. More like The Great waste of time. LOL! But yeah, Tash was insanely keen on watching it so I guess we all gave in to him. Rach and Vas fell asleep(no surprise there right?) and Tash and I both confessed that this was by far one of the dumbest movies we've ever watched. Heh! But for me, what was more important was that I was spending time with them. Even if it isn't everyone, it doesn't matter.

I know a WHOLE lot of people aren't happy with my decision to move out. But it's not like I wanted to. It's just something I have to do. Something temporary. At least I hope it is.

Rach and I finally got rid of the freaking bed frames that took up like HALF the room. It's more spacious now. And yes, more umm, like home?

Like What?!

2011-01-26T19:10:00.003+08:00

Decode- Paramore

Hey! Yes, I'm back with an insane history and too much to say. Not gonna bother filling you up with all the details but basically, I moved out.

Yep, it's day four here in Sembawang and Rach and myself are living all by ourselves! It's fucking scary nonetheless but somehow, I know this will be good for us. It's a stage not many get to go through so in my heart and mind, I'm gonna keep this positive and somewhere down the road, hopefully this experience will serve me well.

I just feel really bad that Rach has to go through this because firstly, she's freaking young and secondly, she really doesn't deserve this after all she's been through. But I know more than anything, she needs me and that's exactly what I'm going to be doing. I'm gonna always be here for her.

Moving into a different environment is fucking crazy. I mean, I don't know. I thought my first place would be a house and or an apartment and not a room. But hey, the circumstances are such so whatever right? heh! I'm sure we'll pull through.

2009-05-26T12:55:00.005+08:00

just dance- lady gaga feat. colby

oh man.. it's here!! haha!

i'm finally freaking graduating ya'll!!

i mean, i'm probably not excited as most because it's only a diploma but hey, a graduation is a graduation!! well i'm gonna go get ready and i promise photos WILL be uploaded in the next post=) watch out for it!!

and i'm sorry i've not been blogging much. not much inspiration everytime i get on the computer.=(

out!

2009-05-12T18:34:00.002+08:00

if today was your last day-nickleback

it affected me. i won't lie about that. alot of what you say affects me. this is the effect of two wonderful years spent with you. sometimes, i accidentally say your name because i'm soo used to it. it's a reflex. it's only a reflex. i'll make it thru.

today this song is more than appropriate to how i felt. i duno why. going out with rach was awesome. and receiving sarrah's message really made me think twice. too scary. tooo fucking scary. i was affected but then somehow this song came to my head and i just realized i need to get back to where i was and not back to where i was.

it's hard. but i can do it. i know i can. i felt something different today. i duno what it was but there was definitely something. and somehow i felt she felt it too. i just hope i do things right so that i dont put her thru the pain i did before. i'll change back. it's the least she deserves for all she's done. i need to do much more and i know.

well well, away from the emo stuff. ummm.. i'm get unhealthier. haha! i guess there's no running from it. this post is simply gonna be a rollercoaster. heh!

heck. i dont wanna fill this up with meaningless junk. what is super meaningful though is the lyrics to the song i'm listening to. here you guys go!=)

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Read the lyrics. Reflect on your own life. Bask in what you already accomplished.

sweet dreams you stars=)

2009-05-11T01:03:00.002+08:00

Insomnia-Craig David

tried to but i can't sleep. on my mind? redemption.

i've been trying to be someone that i'm not. and yesterday it hit me hard. like bang. i don't know why but somehow i just felt i had to try doing what i did before i go into NS because that basically marks the end of my freedom. how childish can i get? seriously, my immaturity sickens me to my stomach. i thought i had to go out, try to be this cassanova and attract whoever i could so that i could get the feeling of being in control.

STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. PERIOD.

it's not who i am. it's NEVER been who i am. and i don't like the person i've become. i need to set myself straight. keep my sights on one and try to make things work with her. i need to come back. i need my balooned head to come back down to earth.

i'm sorry to those i've hurt and seriously, i know this counts for shit but yea, my heart goes out to those i've neglected or hurt in the process of this selfish excuse for freedom. i never wanted freedom, maybe all i wanted is to try to be someone who i thought i needed to be to just prove something to myself. UGH! i can't believe it even came to this really. damn.

i need to prove i can be better. tomorrow's a new day right?

my apologies especially to you. i've been a selfish ass and.. you can go ahead and write whatever you feel. i'm sorry for commenting on what you wrote. you have all the right too. i was thinking of myself, as usual. my heartfelt apology is right here, i just hope you accept it. you are the one of the nicest people i've met, i'll admit to that.

2009-05-09T05:19:00.002+08:00

Beautiful - Colby O'Donis & Kardinal Offishall

don't hate the dealer, hate the game.

i don't know why but i just had that song playing in my head alot these past few days. hmmmm... have i got you wondering? haha!

well, i don't know why, but the past few days, i just felt myself distance! like from two main group of friends. the JBP gang and D. it's like soo freaking annoying but i promise things will change!

for JBP, plans were made, and i was barely there. many apologies. but seriously speaking, the plans were a little too last minute. but i'll do my best to work around them and make something happen the next time k? i seriously find me hating myself for not being able to get down to hanging with them and stuff because they're an awesome bunch!=) rini, ezwan, raidah, anil, ifah, nadiah, chanel and the other awesome peeps i've not mentioned!! if i've been an ass, I'M SOO SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=)

i'm not sure the smiley there served it's true purpose. i'm gonna leave it there anyway. heh!

and D, i don't know why but i'm afraid to see you. i can't explain but maybe it's the fact you know things without me saying that freaks me out. it startled and even impressed me at first, but, i'm a little scared now. you're and awesome friend nonetheless. i need to talk and see you. i'll get down to it, eventually.

at the moment, i'm at that part where i feel life's going where i want it to but i know, i feel that there's soo much more i can do to make it that much better. i guess we'll see what happens.....

True perseverance will see you through it, it always has.

2009-05-04T20:57:00.006+08:00

america's suiteheart- fall out boy

so i've not blogged in quite a while huh. there's quite alot to catch up on for example, the fantastic outing to East Coast Park with my buddies from the the birdpark! it was super super awesome and now i finally have pictures to upload!! yay!! hahaha! it was the first time i got to roller blade and so yea, it was really nice! i fell like 3 times but for all it was worth, it was worth it=) we played twister, had snacks and just laughed our asses off. nothing better than spending quality time with the people you care about is what i'd say. enjoy the pictures!!

Gearing up!

The iron skaters!! hahaah!!

The two who were my support!! thank you rai rai and ezwan!!

The awesomest birdpark part timers around!=) (chanel and nadiah missing though)
And another picturesque view for all=)

Also, a shout out to the KOP! fantabulous job against newcastle. let's hope arsenal can cause some problems for the devils and a few slip ups for the run-in to the title would be appreciated as well!

2009-05-01T05:44:00.002+08:00

please don't leave me- pink

i don't freaking get it. i FINALLY get 12hours to sleep and i waste it ALL by staying up all night. and i know i'll be freaking busy the next few days and i still throw it away. there i go yawning again. dumbass. dumbass fuck i tell you. oh well...

yesterday was the 8th, wait, ummm.. yea, 8th day prayers for vik's dad. it was still a sad session but i think it's encouraging to still see not only relatives but loads of friends around as well. and there was pizza!!! so that was a HUGE plus!! haha!!

there was this particular moment when the smoke coming from the samrani (not sure if i spelt that right) engulfed the house. and it watched as vik dad's eldest sister teared as she mourned for him. and she continually told him to eat the food that was spread across the floor before his photo. i duno. i sorta stuck in my mind and yea, even after 8 days, tears do and probably will continue to fall. aunty prema did cry as well but still, the strength in the eyes were just, admirable.

and i guess i should started praying loudly more often because arsenal went on to freaking lose to man u. see what happens when you start to get lazy. haha!

well i guess i should start getting ready for work yea? i wonder if i'll faint. hmmm...

2009-04-30T00:49:00.002+08:00

invaders must die- the prodigy

i was walking through a crowd of people coming off the same train i was traveling on when it my lame excuse of inspiration hit me. this is it. this is the land i've been born into and it's where i'l probably spend the rest of my life. walking through and against this madness is probably what i'm gonna have to live with for the rest of my miserable life. unless i get a car. hmmm... yea, it's never happening. hah!

ever wondered how it'll be if your whole world was turned around. and you had to change the way you lived, talked and maybe even walked! woah. i don't know why but i just feel like i want that now. more than i ever did before. i want to start a fresh somewhere and just create who i am all over again. something tells me that's the one way you find out who you truly are.

thats it. put yourself in a total foreign land in total solitude and just live life from there. whatever you choose to be is probably the way you want to be for the rest of your life.

by the way, this applies to adults above 20 only. heh! my mind boggles when i think of what i'd choose to be. hmmm.. nice.=)

a silent prayer for arsenal tonight. i've always admired your football and now more than ever, you need to silence the Devils. show them how hell really feels like. though i think liverpool already did pretty well in our last outing with them. HAHA!

2009-04-28T21:30:00.002+08:00

breathe slow-alesha dixon

i met you and my heart began to race. we embrace and yes, i feel the emotion begin to race. i can't hold back and i hold you tighter, god, please tell me what this will be be after.

i ended up mind fucking myself by meeting her. i don't know why but once i see her face, my feeling just arise from god knows where. i don't understand which part of we'll never work out does my heart not understand. and this is coming at a point of time where i few other things in my head that i cannot stop from being there.

then comes the twist. i was really happy spending time with her. i truly was. but once it came to end, and we started to question what the hell we were doing, the night began to turn sour.

a part of me wants to just try. just go ahead and do everything i can to make things work. but i know that way i'm not gonna be very happy now am i. it's a mountain to climb and after coming down one, i guess everyone needs a rest?

the crescent moon stares at me like i've done wrong. i don't disagree.

2009-04-27T23:03:00.003+08:00

break even- the script

another song i can't run away from. heh! anyways, i had a bad bad feeling at work today. i told it to raidah. i wanted to quit. i don't know if i was affected by what happened but i just felt i wanted to just leave.

maybe it's just feeling left over from the week before? i freaking hope it was monday blues. i was supposed to work tomorrow as well but yea, i decided that i wouldn't. i think i just need some rest and it'll all be fine. hmmmm... i gotta keep my head straight. there's soo many reasons to stay. i'm in the midst of getting the the BET made over and ummm.. i need to train izzah and...

who am i kidding. i'm only staying because you guys are there. and because the pay's too good to give up in this economy. haha!

i've been having trouble to sleep the pass few days. i just like force myself to get SUPER tired before i can finally shut my eyes. images pop in and it's hard to ignore them. thoughts run through and sometimes tears fall for no freaking apparent reason.

agh, i must have just got something in them.

2009-04-26T06:46:00.003+08:00

Aerosmith- I don't wanna miss a thing

the day was perfect. look in one direction and you'll see the perfect blue sky with the fluffiest cloud and the breeze seemed to just caress your face with a slightly cooling tingle. turn around and your eyes behold an area crawling with onlooking people. an area that was cordoned off by police tape. you know it's never a good thing when a white piece of plastic is lying on floor.

i arrived at 4.10pm, almost 15mins after i received the call from tash. i arrived to the scene where aunty prema and muhes were weeping. i held back. i thought he might still be alive. i prayed as i made my way. i didn't want him to pass on. it was not his time.

but he did and there was nothing i could do. nothing anyone could do. i sat there and looked. tears began to fill my eyes. i felt sadness for vik. i felt sadness for muhes. but somehow, i felt anger at the same time. i am an emotional guy, i admit to that. i stood up, looked around and made a realization that i wasn't alone.

the investigation officer did what they needed to do and vik began to walk away. i straightened myself out and went to his side. andy, tash, dev, maddu, mohan, os, shahl and andy were all there for him. it was painful to see what he was going through. i tried soo freaking hard to hold back my tears and so did the rest. i know they did.

we waited for almost 5hours before the body was taken back to mortuary. within that time, the wailing from relatives and family members were distant and far in between. and to listen to them as they happened was unbearable. i'll admit that i myself did breakdown. some moments were just too overwhelming.

the moments i remember the most were the times when the breeze would just blow past and silence would just fill the air around me. it felt as though everything is alright. it's like God's way of saying, "Stop crying. It's my turn to take care of him."

when the body left, everyone worked like clockwork. the house was cleared within moments and the pictures were covered. we stayed the night through talking and reminisce about the past, trying hard to keep our minds off the situation that unfolded hours before. i came home, and all i did was think about the situation the love ones that were left behind had to face with. i began to start thinking what he was thinking about in those final moments. i began to think of things that he didn't think about. it saddened me and all i did was watch movies till my eyes finally shut.

when i finally came around, it was time for the funeral. alot of waiting for the body to arrive and when he finally did, a reception worthy of a rockstar, as many would say, was awaiting him. i helped to carry the casket up and down. tash was there as well because they needed people of equal height to help with the tranferring of the casket.

before the casket left, i placed a garland that thiya, a friend from jurong bird park, passed me to placed on him on behalf of her. as i placed it, i took a good look at him. i placed my hands together, paid my respects, prayed very hard that his soul would rest in peace and then made my way. it was a moment that was difficult for me. i turned to look at aunty prema and she was my strength. she thought me, just through the look on her face, that if she can be strong for her two sons and the rest of the family, why not me. my hat's off to her and my absolute admiration to her sons who throughout the whole ordeal acted the way any father would be proud of.

cremation. the scene of the casket becoming a victim of the incinerator was hard to bear for some who walked out the moment the casket disappeared from sight. i was among those people. moments of him came flashing through my head and all i wanted was for his soul to be at rest.

my heart goes out to all those affected by this tragedy. yes, we know it's not his time but let us all be there to pray and him know it's alright to cross over. for his soul to be at peace.

Aunty Prema, your strength during the ordeal is an inspiration to all who were present. and as your message said, we'll always be by your side. we're only a call away so please, never hesitate.

Muhes, know that no matter what the circumstance, what the reason, we'll all be here for you. you're never ever alone.

Vik, i know i've not been the best of your friends. i might not be the type to tell you everything that happens in my life and i do admit that. but i guess somehow, through all this, times we spent together hit me the hardest and i guess i really really do care about you and whatever you go through. i want you to be fine, i want you to always know that you're never alone. you got soo many sweet people around you like shahl, tash and thinesh who'll always be there for ya. and no matter how much i screw up, know that i'm always here. and i'll always be because you were the first person i ever considered and declared to be my best friend. till today, that hasn't changed.

mind at ease and i've said my peace. god bless you Uncle Yoges.

2009-04-22T00:48:00.005+08:00

the fan going round and round in my room=)

i was trying hard to sleep. really i was. and suddenly i had the urge to blog. it's weird because normally i HAVE to think about what to write but this time, it actually came to me! haha!

that ultimate bittersweet moment.

i don't know why, but i just felt like i wanted to talk about it. and no, i can't state my bittersweet moment but i somehow feel that all of us would agree that missing something or someone, be it passed on or alive is something bittersweet.

it's the the highest form of bitter because you know you can't have it at that point of time but yet it's soo sweet because the fact that you actually miss it makes you feel that you really love or like or appreciate that thing or person. it makes you feel that you're more than just an object that wakes up every morning, goes to work/school, come back, have dinner and go to bed.

it makes you feel human. it makes me feel human. damn i need sleep. haha!

well well, i guess that's it for now.. so go ahead, i'd like you to take back what i said and every time you say that you miss, or feel that you miss something, think of it as the ultimate bittersweet moment. you'll get what i mean=)

*i look out the window this time and i see the the purple blue sky with no twinkle........

2009-04-21T10:27:00.002+08:00

Blame it- Jamie Foxx ft. T-Pain

Sometimes i want to turn back, sometimes i wanna move on with another and sometimes, i just wanna let it all go..

i thought single life would be easy, and don't get me wrong, it is. but sometimes there are situations you face when you feel that if you were in a relationship, you might never have to face. maybe it's just me and my inability to say no. i want to, but i can't.

anyways, work the past few days has been good. i think we're really going somewhere with this Bird's Eye Tour Make Over thing. loads of fantastic ideas has bounced off everyone and i seriously see us making something out of all the effort we're putting into the project. i'd like to take this opportunity to thank anil, hafeez and julie for thier contributions to the project=)

let's hope it actually goes somewhere yea? it'll be cool to one day return to the bird park and see something which we created still there.

it'll be DAMN cool=)

2009-04-18T05:16:00.003+08:00

Second Chance- Shinedown

"By the way, I made it through the day"

i don't know why, but somehow just that line speaks out to me. i just felt like a weird connection to it the moment i heard it. it's like telling me that no matter how much i screw up, fuck up or am unable to do something about a certain situation, i can still make it through the day. and the day after. and the day after that. unless i die, of course. now that would just be sad. haha!

so yea, moving on. i'm gonna go back to work at starbucks today!! i don't know why but the freaking words die die die die die keeps playing in my head. truth be told, i'm kinda scared. i've always been the type to be afraid of going back to something and not having it to be the way it used to be.

hmmm.. maybe that speaks about ALOT of other stuff too. just saying though. haha!

well let's see how it goes=) i'm a little excited. ok maybe not...

2009-04-17T13:21:00.003+08:00

Gimme, gimme, gimme- Benny Benassi

i can choose to be at a cross road but i'd rather just stand at the sidewalk and see what happens.. something you told me last night opened my eyes and maybe it's time i choose my path.. i don't know.. maybe i just wanna bask in where i am right now?

So i'm down with the flu but that does not stop the show from going on so yesterday was Andy's BIG 20!! hahaha! the guy's finally out of the teen zone.. sad aint it? Zul was nice enough to get us a table at the pump room and there's where we celebrated it!!=)

it was nice to see everyone there again and yea, i hope you enjoyed your birthday bro! haha!! and the freaking board shorts we bought you! i better see you wearing them often k? heh!!

Pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Birthday Boy!

The People

The Place=)

well well, i got nothing much to say today actually. loads of other stuff has happened but i'd rather keep that out of here=) haha! take care and sweet dreams you guys!=)

the stars were out but you were no where to be seen....

2009-04-13T22:02:00.003+08:00

Maybe- Jay Sean

i need to be true to myself. i need to do what's right but my head's holding me back.

doing what's right is means i lose her forever. do i want that? there i go again, thinking of myself.

oh god, just make her realize i'm not worth it. it'll be easier that way. i'm sorry.

work tomorrow and i feel like i've rested enough! haha! still got a bad feeling that i'm gonna wake up late!! i gotta prove myself wrong.. c'mon nigel! you can do it! muahahahaha!!

anyways, few events passed so far. Muhes' pangguni was freaking awesome! that boy has got crazy guts and will power i tell you! kudos bro for making it and sorry for not attending your dinner thing!!

next up, my beautiful cousin's wedding! Sunitha's her name and yea, her wedding was more like a PARTY!!! i drank, and drank, and you guessed it, drank somemore!! she looked beautiful and her groom looked dashing in his tuxedo looking t-shirt and bermudas. yes, they're wedding had a beach theme. beat that people. i wore BERMUDAS to a wedding. the world is turning up side down i tell you. LOL!!

Last but not least, my awesome bro's birthday is today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU HAIRY EXCUSE OF A MAN!!

yes, he's finally 18! (no more sneaking around for that smoke right bro?) haha! i bought him boxers because i felt it was the LEAST gay-est present to purchase, i hope.

here's pictures from the wedding!=) enjoy!

Angle of the how roughly how the wedding was..

Drinking brothers=)

My bro with the newly weds!

Myself with the newly weds!

2009-04-08T01:03:00.002+08:00

the sound a woman informing passengers of the final boarding call for Philippines Flight...

so she went, with a short look and a wave..

and we looked as she left quite a legacy behind..

superwoman. that's what she'll always be remembered by me for..

i wish you all the best and i pray you find what you seek for back in your homeland..

good night and god bless you, Nerry.

2009-04-06T22:29:00.003+08:00

Lollipop(Remix)- Lil' wayne ft. Francisco

things aren't as straight forward! every time i wanna be by myself, do what i want, i get pulled into something i might not be ready for. and being the selfish son of a gun that i am, i make no effort in resisting it... why do i know i must change but choose not to.

lots of funny things have been happening to me past few day, inclusive of the ball that smashed my face episode. first one, a guest come up to me to inquire about something. here's how the convo went.
Guest: What time is the 10 o'clock show?
Me: (Looks at him confused)
Guest(confidently): What TIME is the 10 o'clock show?
Me(tries FUCKING hard not to laugh): ummm.. (chuckles under breath).. 10am sir?
Guest: Oh..(looks at me bashfully).. where is it?

omg.. do not tell me that is not the fucking funniest thing! hahahha!! after he left, i looked at raidah and we laughed soo hard!! lol!!!

next happened today when a guest asked me about what he should do after visiting the Bird Park.
Guest: Vhat time snowcity close?
Me: Mondays not open
Guest: Ya i knowwww... Vhat thime is it closed?
Me: Uh.. 6pm..
Guest: Oh k good.. we can go see no?
Me: No sir it's closed..
Guest: (looks at me confused)

I SWEAR I SAID CLOSED THE EXACT WAY HE DID AND YET HE LOOKED AT ME CONFUSED.. WTF IS THAT ALL ABOUT?! but nonetheless, it was funny..

and then he goes onto ask if there's anything else he could do. ezwan stepped in and NEARLY says JOO instead of ZOO to spite the man but of course, being the 'nice' guy that he is, he hesistated. i saw it in his eyes. HE REALLY WANTED TO DO IT!!

i would have gone down laughing if he had. damn his niceness. and yea, the last one was a few moments ago when i told raidah that the san diego zoo is probably the best zoo in the world and she asked me where this zoo was. omg. i wanted to slap her right there but instead i just laughed my ass off. funny funny people i work with and i love them to death.

awesome bunch this folks i work with at the Bird Park and this post goes out to them. All of them=)

feeling that nights coming are gonna be starry ones. i hope...

2009-04-05T03:18:00.002+08:00

Stayed at home all day. Went out at about 6 to play soccer. Played for a little while and yes you guessed it,

MY FACE GOT SMASHED BY THE BALL.

Correction, my NOSE got smashed by the ball!!!

omg, the pain was intolerable but yet i managed to carry on playing. The things adrenaline makes you do. haha!

Remember kids, if you see a flying ball, DODGE IT! or you may forever bear the consequence of having a crooked nose. heh!

who turned off the lights, starry sky?

2009-04-04T15:04:00.005+08:00

America's Suitehearts- Fall Out Boy

i don't hate you. i never learn my lessons. i need to do what's right.

i just don't love you no more....

Yesterday rini and i met up for like a bestie day out kinda thing and it was freaking awesome!! like totally!! hahahah!!

we had heaps of fun and we were like chatting non-stop throughout!! omg, i think my jaw had a freaking good workout!! and yesterday was also like rini's day to try out stuff she never had a chance to do!! the list is as below:

1) Consume the awesomest chicken rice at block 925!
2) Take the sky ride at siloso
3) Ride the luge
4) Watch a sunset with someone else besides her family
5) Walk all the wat to Rasa Sentosa

and i'm sure that there'e more she could add on but yea, that's all that comes to mind.

after that i went over to my old (but still current store) Capital Towers!!!

i saw taufiq and of course, my one and only, BEN!! hahahah! ok, i read that over. sounds fucking gay. nvm. hahaha! it's the truth! so i caught up with taufiq for a little while and then dropped by Ben's place to just talk about stuff. it was a real mind opener. and i couldn't be happier to have heard his share and to know that he'll always will be there for me. Thanks bro! from the bottom of my heart, seriously.

well well, here's some of the picture's from yesterday, enjoy=)

Rini's First time up the Sky Ride!!

Location? Siloso Beach!!=)

AWWWW!! doesn't she look adorable? lol!!

And to end it all off, a picturesque view of the Siloso Bay....

Ahhh.. the night was beautiful too. Thank you starry sky....=)

2009-04-02T21:37:00.003+08:00

Just Dance -Lady GaGa ft. Colby o'Donnis

i wanna move forward. i wanna move forward. i do, i do.

Today's fun run was like REALLY FUN!! but like super freaking wasted i could not enjoy it to the fullest because of my stupid freaking headache. ARGH!! damn stupid.

But from the bottom of my heart,

THANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR TOLERATING MY ANNOYING-NESS!!

haha! i don't even know if that's a real word. i doubt so. heh! well my team got last but i don't really care because it was awesome and it was fun! heh!

i wonder if i should go to the beach tomorrow. it's been sometime since i last went there. i miss long walks on the beach with my feet in the sand and someone to chat with beside me. maybe i'll try to annoy someone to join me. maybe....

good night starry sky and remember that there's always someone for everyone, always.

2009-04-01T16:33:00.004+08:00

Dope Boys- The Game ft. Travis Barker

Happy April Fool's everyone!!

i'm sick today unfortunately and like it's such a disappointment because it's my only chance to prank everyone at work!! haiz.. oh well.. i guess there's always next year right? and there's no chance for me to prank anyone at all because i'm home all day!! argh!!

well i've got nothing much to say today actually.. except for the fact that i got pranked via sms and it was interesting.. haha! oh well.. i guess no matter what the medium, a prank is a prank so kudos to this person...

knowing me the way you do does not give you the right to take advantage of me...

i see thunder and lightning, maybe it's gonna be a bleak wednesday...

2009-03-30T06:01:00.002+08:00

Right Round- Flo Rida

Not now but maybe in the future, i said. i'm selfish.

i don't love her, don't leave we can work. i'm selfish.

i wanna stay because i enjoy spending time with you. yes, i AM selfish.

i need to be away from myself. i'm soo tired of going through my emotional circus that i just wanna slip off the tight rope and fall to my end. i need to find an end to this mayhem.

my only obvious solution? National Service.

i felt a glimpse of my starry sky, or did i?

2009-03-27T23:31:00.002+08:00

gives you hell- all american rejects

i dropped it. i let it go. it was following the sae pattern as before.
no hope in it. no believe. no reassurance that it'll be all okay.

scared and confused, i do not blame the other party. like i said before:
it's my time to suffer.

WRS soccer tournament today!! argh!! and we didn't even pass the damn group stages!! i hate this know!! argh!!! but oh well, i guess the other teams were WAAAAAAY too awesome. haha! at least i got a chance to win a few matched and even scored a few.

there was a this one fluke that was soo awesome!! left foot lob, skims the top netting and enters the top right corner!! nice nice! heh!

at least there's some positivity to losing. i actually feel reiyana and ain from pano are damn damn cool people. maybe i'm always give this persona of being stuck up. shit. i have that thing about me and i don't blame others for it. i pretend to have no confidence when actually i'm over confident. ahhh... it's just me...

and in the noon we had a little outdoor camp at sembawang with the kids from si ling primary! they were seriously adorable and i thoroughly enjoyed it! plus rini was there so yea, it was a plus. and tim and i were running the sand castling thing together and it was AWESOME!! the kids loved it! or i hope they did. no i don't care, THEY DID! haha!

after reading this post, i get a feeling that inside, i'm really messed up emotionally. like seriously. this post suddenly interests. plus it's the first time i blogged the moment i turned on my computer. re-instating my blog might not be such a bad idea after all.

looking out and i don't see that starry sky, i wonder...

2009-03-27T00:04:00.001+08:00

nothingness of my room- unknown

fuck, i got myself into a hole i did not want to dig.
i'm losing it.
i'm not stable anymore.
i need to fucking get these thoughts out of my head.
why oh why do i have to be like this.

maybe this is the point of my life where i'm getting what i deserve. after all the good god has given me, it's about time that i suffer.
i deserve this.

2009-03-22T22:23:00.004+08:00

Sooner or Later- N.E.R.D

i thought of it. i thought of you. and mostly, i thought of me.

it wasn't as bad as it was a few days ago. i see myself slowing gain composure. i'm sure. i need to move on and let you do your own thing. i can't be involved all the time.

but nonetheless, i'll always be a friends if you're ever in need of one. thank you for the memories.

today was a worthless day spent sleeping and lousy football. i hope it doesn't blow over to the match happening later. hell, i feel the pressure because winning this one would mean that the BPL title would be within our grasp!!!

c'mon lads, gimme something to cheer about!!!

i watched as fulham demolished manchester yesterday and you know what, i think i'm secretly a fulham fan as well. or maybe i just REALLY hate man u. hahaha!!!

have i mentioned yesterday was like a dream? thank you dear!!=)

I just had to add this in. Torres, be inspired and score two tonight.

let there be a rain of goals this starry night=)

2009-03-21T21:09:00.002+08:00

Insomnia- Craig David

OH MY GOD!!!

hahaha! i just had to start that way because today, while taking the train back home, i saw it. yes, i saw a RAINBOW!!!!!

i know i sound fucking gay but after what i said yesterday, it's just too coincidental not to talk about. i was smiling like a fool on board the train. and i have to duly thank this old couple that realized it. and the best part, THEY SPOKE IN ENGLISH!! so i could totally hear the old lady say, "ey look! it's a rainbow."

i immediately like lowered my head and there it was. right after the clementi station. it was pointing 90 degrees up to the sky with a slight curve as it touched the sky. the colours were soo vibrant that i could different all the seven colours. yes, even indigo and violet.

it was beautiful. just like the day i had.

thank you soo much for it dear.=) you read my thoughts and made today possible. i couldn't be any happier.

starry sky, take care of that rainbow for me. it's special.

2009-03-20T16:05:00.003+08:00

Mad- Neyo

Anger. Hatred. Angst. Disgust. Fed up. Finished.

i can't care anymore. stop nigel stop. why am i soo affected? tell me god. why can't i just make a decision and stick to it. it was easy at first. i was sure. i was steadfast. no remorse and i did it with pure conviction.

now, all i'm left with is a hollow chest. filled with nothing. a dark nothingness. no wait. there is something there. selfishness. wanting all that i can't have. you know, i don't wanna regret but i deserve it. i need to. or else i'll just keep ignoring it and it's gonna build up. i can't do this to anyone else. i need to pull away. or should i?

should i give it a chance? just how good it's gonna be i can never tell can i?

fuck. i think i'm burning up because there is someone out there that can treat her better than i can. god, my ego is unbelievable. my character is unbelievable.

i need to grow up.

today i experienced sunny rain=)

ummm.. it's cool for me because i've been wanting to see a rainbow for a long time. i still didn't get a chance to see one but still walking in the rain is pretty cool. i liked it loads=)

yesterday we had soccer practice at fico and it was awesome! too bad there aren't any photos. and yes, like my facebook comment, i was over the moon with my performance. it was good. REALLY GOOD! hahahah! really proud of myself that i was able to last for like an hour 45mins playing so yea=)

well i know i'm never gonna catch a rainbow anytime soon so here goes:

Awesome=)

have a good one starry sky...

2009-03-18T23:08:00.002+08:00

Thinking of You- Kate Perry

finally. i see initiative. i see the need and some want to be with me. maybe she finally got it, maybe she's finally realizing that i'm not gonna put in all the effort to make it work or else it'll just be going back to square 1. oh well.

i liked it. i felt like this might be something different but something's bugging at me to not count my chicks before they hatch. something constantly nips at me to hold back and not put everything into it. getting tired before getting anything started is not a smart thing to do. oh well.

after a long time today i also got hurt and it just made me feel like, i don't know. maybe it's just today. i kinda looking forward to what tomorrow brings. oh well.

well i had 2 freaking tours today which was half awesome and half annoying because both tours kept making stops at random places to take PHOTOS!!! i don't get this stupid photo thing really.

(asks me stop in front of a tree)
Dad: ok boy boy stand there.
Boy: but got no bird what!!
Dad: nevermind, i never take photo of you yet. just stand there!!!

the boy stands there, dad takes the photo and this happens randomly as we tour. NEVER AT A NORMAL SPOT WHERE ALL THE BIRDS ARE!!!

two words come to mind for this guy. parenting genius. way to go to make you son feel special whereas for his daughters, he's snapping away like no tomorrow while the son just wanders off to entertain himself. sad ey?

moving on, i got a $10 from the second tour so that made things a little better i guess=) played soccer with guys and rach got discharged from the hospital so thank you god!!=)

a mediocre day for mediocre me. sweet.

keep on shinnin' starry sky.

2009-03-17T22:35:00.002+08:00

Jai Ho- A R Rahman

i'm occupied, i'm looking forward, i'm ready. ok. maybe not. but i still wanna live the single life. i love how its going right now and maybe i just need to adapt to it.

adapt. how does one adapt when basically my whole world used to surround the fact that i sucumb to the needs of others. whether i still do it or not is a question i constantly ask myself without a response. my need to make people around me can comsume my inner most desires and maybe that's why i feel like i'm giving up soo much.

oh fuck. i've not shut my eyes for more than 10mins in 28hours. i strongly suggest ignoring whatever i wrote. i'm probably ranting utter nonsense.

i hate PCD's version of Jai Ho. I mean, it has quite a beat but they fuck up the pronounciation and i feel that just throws away the whole song altogether. just an opinion.

my last day with the rascals from Poi Ching primary today and it was still a disaster. every 5 mins i felt a sudden urge to strangle the pupils that i was taking under my care. scary.

but in the end it came down all ok and 6F, my class of course, came in second!! awesome guys! great job! freaky part was when they started asking for my number. yes you read that right, N-U-M-B-E-R!! these guys were freaking primary 6 and so confidently they just asked for our personal details. culture shock for me, seriously.

i passed them my email instead and we'll see how it goes from there.

thing i cant get over, THEY HAVE BETTER HANDPHONES THAN I DO!!!!!! wth. i'm even out-classed by 12 year olds. life of the rich and famous? sure.........

take me through this night starry sky........

2009-03-17T00:08:00.003+08:00

Break Even- The Script

one night i came home, i sat down watched tv, and i thought. i didn't stop thinking till i found myself. the moral? i'm still thinking.

i dont get it what comes over me when i struck with both of you. i don't get how i can be confused yet soo sure at the same time. no wait scratch that freaking last line. i just fuckin confused. no true answer, no surety, no real judgement.

a complex bastard with only himself in mind. i need to move away. like i heard, 'it's not fair for any of us, it's just not fair.'

Question is, will i change?

Today was a change. a breath of fresh air. a within 5 mins of starting, my air suddenly turned stale and it became hard to breathe. i am a person with a goal of being a father before i die and heed me when i say,

KIDS IN PRIMARY SCHOOL ARE NOT WHO YOU THINK THEY ARE!!

They're not kids. no no no no no no NO! they're monsters from an inter-galactic dimension that reaches earth at 8am and terrorizes teachers all the way till 5pm before returning back to where ever they came from to create more HAVOC!!!

ok, maybe they're not all like that but yea, my experience today thought me that as i parent, i gotta instill some values into my kids because seriously, the kids of our present era? not exactly angels. i have never gone straight to bed after work before and this time, i did.

well angels or demons, i'm going back there tomorrow to show them who's boss! 7.30am sharp!

wish me luck starry sky=)

2009-03-15T17:01:00.004+08:00

Heartless- Kanye West

as i lean closer my heart rate increases and all i see are the joyful pieces, how come its like that all the time? it doesn't who but once there, it rises up and bursts just like a flare. i just dont get my feelings and sometimes i just fall back on the fact the at we want different things.

most of all, i think its just me that wants it different. maybe it's the pressure of NS? maybe i'm just worried that i've not lived out my youth to its maximum potential? but isn't living life to its best mean that i am happy? am i happy?

oh fuck it, i have no feelings seriously, just like the songs, i soo damn fucking heartless.

4-1
Fernando Torres, Steven Gerard(Penalty), Fabio Aurielo, Andrea Dossena
Old Trafford

Need i say anymore? In 17 years, Manchester United has never suffered such a defeat. Moreover, by thier arch enemies, Liverpool. A night to remember, a victory that will go down in the history books.

It's never been better to be apart of the KOP=)

have a blessed night starry sky....

2009-03-14T01:01:00.003+08:00

sober- pink

each line a drag, each post a stab. I wonder why i even face myself up to doing it.

it's weird, even though i'm soo sure i don't feel the same way i did before. yet, i when i cower back to my bed, i realise that everything's ok and i shouldn't feel this way.

think nigel think. what the heck is going through your mind when you step pass those lines. whatever i do, i better think fast or hearts are gonna shatter again. why oh why does the mind turn fickle at junctions that could mean go on or never again.

be positive. resort to wishful thinking. it's gonna be another long night.

my day was good though. met her =) played soccer =) and hopefully i'll get to meet the guys later. awesome!! i hope i can actually still make it for work. heh!

i'm out! sweet dreams starry sky=)

2009-03-13T02:20:00.002+08:00

touched up my blog abit. it's the little things i do when i'm suffering from insomnia.

Finally got a day off tomorrow! i wonder how's it gonna be. and i wonder whether i'll continue writing tomorrow. well i guess i just gotta wait for tomorrow to come by no won't i? heh!

today's dinner with the gang was awesome! i was noisy as usual but somehow, i felt the feeling that i once had when i was at starbucks. another family? maybe. once again, we'll see how it goes.

procrastination is the object of subjectivity for me. whether i do or don't, i guess we'll have to see how my story unfolds yea?

good night starry sky.

2009-03-13T00:59:00.004+08:00

broken strings- james morrison and nelly furtado

well when you finally want to vent all you have out.. how do you condense the the past few weeks of your life into a single entry?

or do you just say exactly what your heart feels now?

the point is that there is no point at all to begin to with. So why did i choose to do this in the first place?

because i need somewhere to say something and this is the first place i decided to find shelter.

every part of me is telling me that this is wrong and this is waaay to childish but fuck that, i'll do it anyways.

i want to change, i need to change. but my will is weak and my heart's turned to stone.

all i have is nothing and yet, all around me feel like i have everything.

i am not the man you think i am, i'm just me.

i'm sorry.

2007-09-27T01:28:00.000+08:00

ummm.. still listening to the same song.. haha!

oh yeah.. i forgot to add that i'm back in school NOW!!!!!!!! muahahahahah!!

and DTRM 04..

YOU GUYS FREAKING KICK ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

muahahahahah!!

ok.. i'm officially the most loved guy in class now.. lol!!=P

sincerely, i happy to be back in stupid SB..=)

out!

2007-09-27T01:18:00.000+08:00

This is why I'm Hot- Mims

Hmmm.. i love the name of his album.. wait.. i tink its album.. i'm not too sure.. heh! its Music Is My Saviour.. notice that MIMS is the abbreviaion of those few words.. ahhh.. cool ey? hahah!! ok.. maybe you guys alredi knoew that..

moving on.. my cousin's wedding is this week and like i've been helping out with preparations and stuff.. actually i haven't really done much but i feel like me and him have bonded soo much over these past few days.. he even told my dad he was lucky for having me.. hahaha! i am one 2-faced bastard i tell u.. LOL!! ok.. maybe that was a tiny bit too honest.. lol! but yea, i'm glad he's getting married.. and seeing the way he looks at his wife to be is really something you know.. it constantly makes me think of the way i look at her.. wait a sec.. ok.. i just stopped doing that cuz i realise i look freaking stupid with the same gaze.. haha!

right.. well besides that.. there's nothing much to say.. i wouldn't say this has been a good week cuz so far quite a bit has happened to me but i shant discuss it here cuz.. ummm.. i just dont feel its right.. and yes, dont come up to me asking if i'm ok just i put it that this weel hasnt been good.. i'll be fine.. i always am=) arent i?

alryt alryt.. all emo-ness aside.. its a thursday today and i'm gonna have to wear formal.. haha! nah.. i tink i'm sticking to my long sleeves and my jeans.. lol! that's enough for tonight.. shall look forward to seeing her and my cousin's wedding on friday.. goodnight world=)

i'm out..

*to be your happiness is all i'll ever need...

2007-09-21T12:06:00.000+08:00

Clothes off- Gym Class Heroes

so i got a little compliment by a person known as Joanne.. really.. cool huh.. he.. umm.. i mean.. ok shit.. i tell the secret out.. yes.. the person that complimented me was a GAY DUDE!! lol!! and for the record.. i was NOT ALONE.. andy got complimented too.. but i wondered if he asked for andy's number as well.. hmmm..

hahaha!! but that's beside the point... i FINALLY got my PDL!!! woohooo!! as sam said, its my baby steps to getting my freaking license.. god.. the things i tink of whn i get my license.. high speed, blasting music.. four other hot chicks in my car! (i know sarrah is gonna read this but i tink its worth the consequences..=P)

but i guess all those dreams are still long shots yea? heard from a friend the closet date for a Traffic Police Test is in March.. yes.. wth.. but i guess if i really wanna drive.. i might as well wait yea? plus i dun tink i'll rush my practicals that way..

right.. so i got no profound topic to blog about today.. sorry.. lol! its practically 12.20pm.. my brain mechanism are barely creaking.. heh! just thought i'd update..

aite.. that's it.. i'm out.. cya!

*you know i feel the same you do.. i'm sry...

2007-09-20T02:40:00.000+08:00

Roll it girl- J-Status ft Rihanna and Shontelle

freaking nice songs andy just sent me.. hahaha! THNX BRO!! hmmm..i doubt he even reads this.. hmmm.. but nonetheless, THNX BRO!!! lol!!

aite aite.. today's topic.. its suppose to be a secret.. you see.. i'm not suppose to let 'some' people read it.. apparently, i'm gonna write about CYA.. yes.. i'm gonna say something about the CYA in Singapore Polytechnic.. yes yes, that CYA.. yes, its the abbreviation for Changi Youth Ambassador... i do hope i spelt it right...

hmmm.. i wonder if i caught thier attention with that? i doubt so.. afterall, i doubt that there are people who track people who talk about them.. haha! ok.. that's the end i'm gonna say or else i might SERIOUSLY get someone on my ass for even saying thier name.. anyways, to those that have no idea what i'm talking about.. the CYA is an organisation that strives to help passengers that are lost in transit.. but that only a very short and unspecific summary..(infact, i got a feeling its TOTALLY WRONG).. but whatever.. thats the end of that topic.. shit.. i hope i dont get into trouble.. ah.. wadever..

okok.. so i didnt manage to blog for quite abit anf believe or not.. i missed it! god.. weird ey.. maybe i finally found my place of ummm.. crapping? like i can say anything here except for the truth.. i mean seriously, i think anyone's truth is too much for people to hear.. might as well keep it light or just keep talking about someone else..(or in my case some other organisation all together=P)

well last night i did something interesting.. i messaged all 3 people i felt i missed alot lately in life.. Karl, Cyn and Sam.. yea.. i just felt like i missed that quite a bit.. and my messaged were kinda ummm.. how do i put this in a nice way.. hmmm.. they were gay.. haha! yea.. that's as close as i can get.. i do hope i'll see them soon.. and mayb be nasi..

well well.. i had a topic in my mind to talk about last night but it slipped my mind today.. dang.. i do hope it pops up soon.. cause i got a good feeling i'll be back to blog again soon.. tke cre peeps!!

*my mind, body and soul screams your name everytime you're not here...

2007-09-15T23:41:00.000+08:00

Me love- Sean Kingston

have i mentioned how bloody shocked i was when i saw the size of sean kingston? LOL!! when i first heard beautiful girls, the impression of someone skinny and small was singing the song.. but when i saw the music video, i was like, WTF?! THAT'S sean kingston?! hahahaha! but yea, its all good now.. he kinda looks like a teddy bear.. like rubben studdard but with a nicer jaw and smaller stomach.. lol!!

alryt.. so i got fooled.. sarrah was actually back in Singapore YESTERDAY!! wth ryt?! and she didnt tell me nuts! but its alryt i suppose.. got to see her just now and i tell you.. it was kinda like the highlight of my week.. felt soo right holding her again.. however, something tells me she did not enjoy it as much as i did.. hmmmm....... hahahah!!

i also FINALLY got a chance to watch my beloved liverpool play portsmouth and though the game ended nil-nil.. i was not disappointed.. as usual liverpool played magic football but i seriously felt like Rafa could have made some better changes in the starting line-up as well the substitutions.. wow! i just got like those knocks on the head things.. i duno wad you call it.. like.. ummm.. ah.. forget it.. i just realise.. this is finally starting to sound more MANLY!! wahahahah!! yay!! see.. i am not THAT gay.. i have that inner man in me as well.. haha!=P

well well.. dinner's still in my tummy and i'm still having a debate(with myself of course) about whether to sleep or stay up.. argh.. no work for me 2ml as well which means that its another wonderful sunday with her! or maybe not.. i duno.. heh! i'll know soon enough.. i'm off for now..

but before i go.. i seriosly wanna say thanks to ummm.. whoever came up with blogging.. lol! its a pretty cool way to like release yourself when you miss someone ey.. heh! well now that she's back, dont think this is the end of it.. i'll hopefully come up with more crap to keep myself and the few who my blog entertained..=)

peace!=)

*now that you're back, there's no place i'd rather be...

2007-09-15T03:53:00.000+08:00

Outta My System- Bow Wow feat. T-pain

she's coming back! yay! she's coming back! yay yay! hahaha! i duno.. my stomach's full of a weird feeling.. i guess its what you would normally call butterflies in my stomach.. but hmmm.. kinda stupid to have something like that since she's only been gone for like wad? 3 days? hahaha! i guess i just miss her..

god.. i realise i've been really really AWFULLY mushy during my last few posts.. i do hope you bear with me.. lol! i mean, yes, its sweet and stuff but remember, this is a GUY'S blog.. i AM a guy ya noe.. i should be talking about the EPL or cars or horny fat people like that dude jason p. does.. he's damn cool i tell u.. i'll link him up as soon as i get his link.. was reading his latest post last night and it FUCKING cracked me up.. not bad..

ya noe.. i was thinking.. like it would be damn damn cool to be like ppl who are famous for thier writing huh? like i mean.. think about it.. someone stumbles on your blog, they find it cool and they tell thier other blog hop-a-holics friends and they go tell more frens and boom.. you're famous! haha! doubt it'll ever happen for my blog but hey, it'll be nice to dream.. i bet its a SUPER ego booster as well.. maybe i'm just need attention.. oh baby.. whr are you? haha!!

hmmm.. well.. that was cool.. i spent a post talking about someone else.. nice.. god.. and i constantly tell myself blogs are for talking about YOURSELF.. i'll do it someday.. soon i hope.. nitez people.. gotta rest up.. finally a day off.. SLEEPY SATURDAY!!!!!=)

out!=)

*like an angel that got back its wings, you make me whole again...

2007-09-14T01:42:00.000+08:00

Summer Rain (Remix)- DJ Alex K

haha! i'm back! yes.. and i'm here to.. to.. i duno.. just talk about what diana brought to my attn today i guess..

i have no idea why but since she talked to me about it.. the topic just could not leave my mind.. she asked me, "nigel, what if sarrah leave you one day? how would you react to it? you think you can survive?". and at that moment, my first response was no.. Y? i mean, i consider her my world and that basically my life revolves around her but my response was such..

i kept thinking to myself y i said that.. did i not want to seem weak? did i want to look as though i was capable and good enough to handle with changes as huge as sarrah leaving me? i dony know.. honestly.. but what i do know is that i dont wnat that day to ever come.. honestly.. i dont know if my answer will be the same if she asks me the question again..

and weirdly enough, when she asked me that, i also thought of mary since like you know, she was my apparent first love.. weird... i wonder how's she doing.. hmmm.. well i guess when all you have is work, sleep and exercise to fill up your daily activities, you begin to wander about all the weird stuff.. hmmm.. i still cant wait till i see my baby again.. i'm off to dreamland.. heh! thnx for listening.. lol!=)

*the wierd pleasure I gain from the pain of missing you...

2007-09-13T02:12:00.000+08:00

Sorry, Blame it on Me- Akon

well well, the results are in and nigel, YOU FREAKING MADE IT TO DTRM 2B/04!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alryt.. i might have overdone that but wooooooooohooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! i made it sial!! i'm jsut really really happy.. cause like i kinda expected to fail my Accounting paper since i totally forgot to fill up the multiple choice questions so yea, i was pretty damn happy when i saw i got a C.. well actually i got C for everything la.. so umm.. i guess not many would be as pleased as me for that.. but ummm.. i guess i'm easily satified? hahahahahaha!!

wow! i really seem kinda over the top with my entry today huh? maybe i should mellow down a little.. i duno.. its like today, i felt what my life really is.. you know, with all my friends working and her being out of town.. i really feel like.. hmmm.. a weird sensation of being alone.. i mean.. i know i'm not alone.. but i guess that it would be this time that i would be able to do things i rarely get to do while she's here but in the end, i got really nothing to do... heh!

kinda dumb i know but its just what i reflected about while doing sit ups..( yes, i reflect at freaking weird times, tell me about it=P)

so knowing that i passed and that i'm alone.. i guess all i have is you my dear blog.. haha! i'm talking to a fucking webpage.. i waaaay to fucking tired.. get me out of here.. peace!

*i'm submerged and i need you back to pull me out of my pool of self despair..

2007-09-09T03:59:00.000+08:00

The Way I Are (Remix)- Timbaland feat. Francisco & Keri Hilson

freaking nice song i tell you.. haha! kinda puts you in the mood to club.. even at home.. wtf.. did i just say that? haha! i guess so.. lol!!

topic of the day? ITS MY 14TH MONTH WITH SARRAH JESSICA L. DAVID!!!( L. has been left an initial due to consequences i may suffer if sarrah does realise i reveal it=P) i have no idea why but she wants to keep it a secret.. lol!=P

maaaan.. 14mths... any of you ever thought that i'd ever las in a relationship this long? i bet you're shaking your head ryt? haha! or maybe you already Xed my page by now.. heh! but seriously. i never thought that i would be able to sustain a realtionship for this.. realistically speaking, i always thought that i was repetitive.. though i know its in my nature to love changes, somehow, i jsut feel like i can never find any other words to express myself or like come up with something new to do with her..

But thank god, this girl is one heck of a godsend.. she's everything i wanted or could ever want.. there's soo much more to her than meets the eye and i thank god for the time He(or She=P) has given me to be with her...

Sarrah baby, never stop loving me cause i don't know how i can learn to love anyone else.. i mean this.. happy 14th month=)

p.s, if i sound to mushy.. i'm sorry.. i just cant help but get emotional when it comes to things like this.. heh!=P

2007-09-08T03:39:00.000+08:00

How do I Breathe- Mario

wah!! super freaking tired i tell u.. like god knows how many hours of no sleep and like i'm still here fucking blog about it.. heh!! but hey, i just wanna say that i love you baby!!

haha! picked her up from work and got a super cool ride from her friend's husband's van.. hahah! nice!! but yea, i basically could barely stay awake during the ride..

main point of today's entry? i've not exercised.. i dun have TB, well i APPARENTLY dun have TB and i feel a super bad flu or fever coming on.. haiz.. i'm tired.. i'm out.. byebye=)

*Perfection is a matter of perception and not just its definition.. that's why in my eyes, you're perfect...

2007-09-06T02:35:00.001+08:00

the wierd humming of my ceiling fan- my room

no time for my window media player for now.. gonna just say WELCOME BACK DIANA!!! hahaha!! glad you didnt capsize the ship.. lol!!

and yea, i RAN TWICE!!! muahahah!! great great accomplishment...

i feel like talking about how many things can actually persuade a person to force himself to get off his ass and accomplish something.. but i'm in a rush for sleep so i'll leave that to another post i suppose.. haha!!

well well, gonna be at BBDC for practical and final theory lessons.. seems as though the only i chance i have of getting my TP is during february.. WTF!! well at least i'm on my way yea? can't wait till i get behind the wheel.. muahaha!! ryt ryt.. leave that to my dreams for now.. to dreamland i go.. NITEZ!!!=)

p.s, take a look at my one and only.. she's one heck of a babe ey? LOL!!!=P

*baby, you are the best i ever had=)

2007-09-05T13:07:00.000+08:00

if i aint got you- Sam's version

haha! i decided to listen to the recordings that frens sent me.. Like Karl's version of Little Wing and Ming's version of I believe I can Fly... Pretty cool the fact that i got soo many friends that are musically inclined.. i wonder if i spend more time with them whether i can improve my froggy voice.. LOL!!

yep yep.. i just wanna say that from today, as often as i can, I'M GOING RUNNING!!! yes its true.. watch me people, before you know it.. i'll be the stick i was once before.. lol!!

ok.. that's all i wanted to blabber.. i going to run now.. and its freakin1.12pm.. i'll make it i suppose.. the sun cant possibly make me darker than i alredi am.. ryt? haha! i'm out.. cya!!!

*Your face is the constant figure everytime i tink i about the future...

2007-09-05T03:04:00.000+08:00

someday we'll know- mandy moore

i have no idea why i'm even listening to that but today i'm here to just jot down stuff i feel..

i noe.. i rarely ever do this.. in fact i only remember once that i actually put down my opinion or something close to that on life on my blog.. pretty dumb if you ask me but hey, i guess i feel a blog cant be trusted la.. heh!

well well, today was nothing spectacular.. basically my day off from work so i spent it sleeping and then met sarrah and then the guys and home.. but somehow, i felt like today was a weird kind of revelation..

today i suddenly felt like my life is filled.. like its good and that if my days were to go on like it today, i might actually die a happy man.. heh! yes, ironically i'm talking about death but i'm not gonna dwell on that, i love my life..

know what annoyed me today? its the fact that i thought it was a burden to go meet sarrah.. that it was a burden to meet the guys after i met her.. why? just why do i do that when i know in my heart that i enjoy almost every moment i spent with them? its true.. it seems that constantly i will find things to be as burden till i get to dong it and when i reflect.. like right now.. i realise how ashamed i am of my thoughts.. maybe i'm more disgusted than ashamed.. i duno.. all i know is that i'm not that wonderful of a person the more i reflect on the things i do......

but my life is good.. everything is fine.... i jsut feel its better writing it here since i rarely get anyone dropping by.. haha! i hate writing.. too darn annoying to look at cuz like my habdwriting fucking sucks.. heh!

i have no idea wh the hell i just wrote that paragraph but hey, its what i'm thinking about so i'm not gonna erase it.. hmmm.. well its nice the feeling i have now.. calmness.. like a sinner who has just confessed.. or something like that.. lol! well this is the end of my confession... and i'm gonna try to get some sleep and go RUNNING!! god knows i need to lose weight.. heh! i'm out..=)

*i'm missing you and its not just cause of those butterfly kisses...

2007-08-15T03:04:00.000+08:00

Rehab- Amy something something( i'm listening to perfect 10, can you blame me?)

yep yep! i bloggin again!! lol!! and hmmm.. i tink i'm doing it at a pretty bad time.. hours from my exams.. as in literally, hours.. its like freakin 3.06am and my paper is at 9am.. and guess what.. you wont believe it, actually u will.. I HAVENT STUDY A FREAKING THING I TELL U!!! WTF!!!!!!!

but hey, i'm chill as usual.. somehow i keep assuring myself i'll be able to memorise everitin b4 i enter that darn exam room.. i tell u, i'm damn freaking scared of my positivity i tell u.. again and again sarrah has told me neing positive aint always a good thing, and finally, at this point.. i agree!! freaking hell!!

ok, the song now is party like a rock star.. what an ironic time to listen to that song ey.. heh! hmmm.. oh yea, i wanted to talk about the fact that i ALWAYS talk about people reading my blog.. i duno y.. but i tink that has to do with my insecurites about my writing.. its like, i really feel i'm a boring writer la.. yea.. so i guess if i can actually start writing better, i just might actually stop complementing people that read my blog..

and is it just me or does this fucking blog need a new skin... maaaan... i'm seriously doing something about it when i get the time.. and who knows, i may just create one.. again.. heh! alright.. i'm out! love ya peeps!

*and especially you, my dear..

2007-08-13T02:38:00.000+08:00

Better than me- Hinder

Wow.. ummm.. ok.. 27th january.. that was the last time i posted yes? pretty darn long time ago ey.. heh! well ummm.. to all the faithfuls who ACTUALLY read my darn blog.. thnk u for umm.. actually bothering to bother about my lame ass blog.. trust me.. nothing i write here ever is impt.. ever.. but i do anyway cuz i got nothing better to do.. so if you fall aslp half way, i'm honoured that u actually made it that far..=P

so, how much as passed? my one year anniversary with her, my 18th birthday! National day! yea! well, thats a whole lot of stuff to talk about ey.. but i shant bore you with any of them.. All of them was awesome and like, every single one had thier special moments and i'm glad to say that i spent all of them with people that are special to me=) haha!!

well well, if i get stuff to talk about.. i'll drop by and say something yea? but for now, i tink this is a nice to warm up.. who knows, i may actually go back to talking about stuff that is related to neither my life nor yours..

for now, i'm outta here..

ps, if you made it this far, please tag so i know just exactly how people gice a damn about my blog.. lol!=P

2007-01-27T19:05:00.000+08:00

Hopless Love- Daphne Loves Derby

for one thing, that is not what i'm getting ryt now.. my love all but hopeless.. heh! guess i just like tha band.. god noes.. aniways, just felt like i got people like joe and diana to thank for the past few days for helping me thru muggin for the exams.. though i still have yet to study for PTH or GGT.. i got a good feeling i'll get to it soon enough..

so how about that dear? i'm actually studyin! lol! ok la.. mayb i'm not like muggin for 24 hrs but i guess 4 hours out of a day is pretty awesome as well..=)

hmmm.. i'd also like to say sry to cyn for cancelling on nasi cuz like we were supposed to spend the nyt at wan's house.. it was the normal board game night whic included with loads of laughter and annoying gay shit.. heh! its funny how i actually thank god for those dudes..

well thats about it for 2nyt.. weird how i said i'd rarely blog in my previous entry.. i guess i am seriously fickle minded.. heh! someone says i gotta be more decisive.. mayb i should try it out..

well i'm out.. take care peeps/ whoever actually reads my blog..

*i could be holding you for an enternity but somehow it'll still feel like only minutes have past..

2007-01-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

tell me where it hurts- MYMP

thnk karl for the song.. lol.. its emo and nice.. and yes, i still have exams coming up and i have no fucking idea wad i'm doing here.. i really should get shot..

hmmm, PACC is still a bother but i hope i'll overcome it.. found a new nemesis though.. stats.. realise i dunno shit about it.. mayb i really should have gone JC.. thn agn, i'd most probably end up the same la.. i'm waay to fucking lazy.. and yet i rarely do anitin about it..

hon, i guess u're ryt.. heh! aniways, i'm off to TRY and study.. wish me luck.. god knows who the hell i'm evn talkin to.. i doubt ani1 reads my dumbass entries.. oh well, its too late to realise that now aint it.. haha!!

okok.. i'm out..

2007-01-21T15:50:00.000+08:00

Through the glass- Stone Sour

ok.. freaking long tym since i last blogged but i dun cre.. i just wanna ask y the heck i'm such a lazy bastard.. damn it.. i keep telling myself that i need to study but i can't come to it..

loads has happened my life in the past few months.. but they're behind me and i dun really wanna go back to thiking about them.. all thats important is that i still love her, my family and of course my frens..

my new year's resolution? be a better person on the whole.. i got loads of catching up to do emotionally, psychologically and in my attitude.. god... life can be a hassel ey?

but thank god its been good to me soo far.. For that i have all to thank.. i do hope it'll be a splendid 2007 for you, me and whoeverelse needs my hope.. and good luck to all the ppl taking the upcoming exams and shit.. heh! i do seriously hope i dun fucking fail PACC.. heh! tt would be a real pain in the ass..

yes yes, its nice to write down here once in a while.. though i doubt i'll do it often.. haiz.. sorry.. ok.. im out.. cya peeps...

2006-11-14T02:13:00.000+08:00

Just got the new galaticos jersey!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahha!!

heh! awesome ey! i like it la.. hahah! best jersey soo far.. so yea, indulge in the photos of me in galaticos' red hot jersey!=)

and yes, i'm shameless.. hahaha! tke cre peeps.. shall blog more crap soon..=)

2006-11-14T01:54:00.000+08:00

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off- Panic! at the Disco

hah! yea yea.. i noe.. long song.. hahah! but wadever.. its nice.. heh! and up to today i have no idea why the heck they have a god damn exclaimation mark.. and i have no idea what god has to do it either.. hahah! ok.. well it sounded funny in head.. lol!

So i see my survey was well received.. THANX TO ALL THOSE THAT DID IT!! you guys rock! except for karl.. he's soo dumb he put the text in the same colour as his background.. WTF DUDE!

Weeeellll.. today was GGT MST and it was good.. think i'll at least pass.. hah! not the same for diana though.. she's freakin hilarious.. We were in the train talking about it when this happened:

Me: so you where's Hong Kong diana?
Diana: OH! that one i draw la..
Me: WHAT??!! its right there on the paper la! why you draw?
Diana: Oh really ah?*then proceeds to bang her head on the MRT pole*

wahahahhah!! hilarious i tell you.. heh! my class cracks me up.. they rili can make a grey sky blue.. heh! DTRM 04' you guys ROCK!=)

So i was studying with sarrah as well and it was cool cause she ACTUALLY did work.. shocked? so am i.. lol!! but yea, it was nice studyin with ya hon! onli cause you bought fries.. hahahaha!! weird incident where this super loud gal was shouting while talking on the phone.. Freaking dumb.. police all came down.. fuckin weird sakz.. and she annoying too....

Well, loads of stuff happened.. now that that's all blogged.. time to look forward to 2ml i guess.. i should i say today.. its 1.56am and i'm wishing all O levellers SUPER HUMONGOUS GOOD LUCK!! heh! and yes, good luck to MST-ers as well.. may we all be blessed with the motivation to keep studying till we get old enough to work and die happy.. god.. why do we put ourselves thru this...=P

I wanna end this saying that life aint what we always want it to be.. but when it is, we want change.. dumb i know.. btw karl, i tink your quote is way fucking nicer.. it goes,

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forward"

i guess it simply means we'll never figure life out.. so don't try.. lol! out!=)

*truth be told, i feel freely guilty......

2006-11-04T06:18:00.000+08:00

Dakota- Stereophonics

Sorry i took soo long darky but yea, i finally did it!! yay!! wahahahha!! enjoy people=)

1) How old do you wish you were?
seventeen.. no change.. dun wanna b older.. and i dun wanna do O's agn, ever..

2) Where were you when 9/11 happened?
hmmm.. playing soccer i suppose.. i remember vividly the plane crashin into the towers but i was thinkin it was just a normal accident..*maaa i was dumb..*

3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
i fuckin kick the shit outta it.. LOL!!

4) Do you count yourself kind?
YES! though i bet sarrah, sam, vik and all my frens would beg to differ=P

5) If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
left shoulder blade.. however price can dramatically changes deisre... lol!

6) If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
tagalog, i got a feeling loads of comments are gonna pop up cause of this.. and yea, french too..

7) Do you know your neighbors?
yes, no, yes.. for my 3 respective neighbours

8) What do you consider a vacation?
relaxation and not hearing the words,"nigel, i need you back in skool"

9) Do you follow your horoscope?
nah.

10) Would you move for the person you loved?
no, i didnt the last time now did i.. heh!

11) Are you touchy feely?
ummm.. i guess?

12) Do you believe that opposites attract?
duh!(me and her, black and white, smart and super dumb)=P

13) Dream job?
author, at job that can be done at home on your own schedule..

14) Favorite channel(s)?
channel 5, axn, starworld, super sports, ESPN, i could go on forever...

15) Favorite place to go on weekends?
anywhere, as well its with cool company

16) Showers or Baths?
showers.. saves time, and water..=)

17) Do you paint your nails?
nope.

18) Do you trust people easily?
not really

19) What are your phobias?
ummm.. i dun like bats and crabs.. heh!

20) Do you want kids?
yes yes=) 2 would be great..

21) Do you keep a handwritten journal?
no freaking way.. heh! cant imagine if all my thought got read by my bro.. lol!

22) Where would you rather be right now?
lying next to her..

23) Who makes you feel warm and fuzzy?
family and her..

24) Heavy or light sleeper?
depends on the location..

25) Are you paranoid?
yes, very..

26) Are you impatient?
nah.. in fact waiting's 1 one my past times.. lol!

27) Who can you relate to?
parents, her, my bros(hommies and real bro of course)

28) How do you feel about interracial couples?
well i'm a FULL support for em!! MIX THEM ALL UP!! wahahaha!!

29) Have you been burned by love?
yes.........

30) What's your favorite pick-up line?
hmmm.. well its not mine but i tink saying, "i've lost my number can i have yours" is the most despo freakin line i've heard.. hahaha!!

31) What's your main ring tone on your mobile?
A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me- Fall Out Boys..

32) What were you doing at midnight last night?
i was crapping with her..

33) What did the last text on your cellphone say?
ummm.. kk hon. Enjoy yourself! Muaks! haha.. heh! ok.. tt was weird.. lol!!

34) Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
my parents.. wtf! mine! DUH!

35) What color shirt are you wearing?
shirtless! therefore brown, but once again alot would beg to differ now wouldn't they..

36) Most recent movie you watched?
ummm.. One Piece? heh!

37) Name three things you have on you at all times?
my ear stud, my wristband and ummm.. my freaky long fingers..

38) What color are your bed sheets?
bluish- yellow.. yes.. ugh..

39) How much cash do you have on you right now?
big fat lump sum of $0!! heh!=P

40) What is your favorite part of the chicken?
breast! excuse me but its the question's fault.. lol!

41) What's your favorite town/city?
yishun, singapore.. though i do love new zealand as well..

42) I can't wait till...
i grow up, be a dad, have two kids and a loving wife. heh! yes, i'm sappy and gay.=P

43) What did you have for dinner last night?
mee goreng pedas with no onion. Put mutton and add mata lembu!!

44) How tall are you barefoot?
1.8 i tink..

45) Do you own a gun?
nah.. though i wish i did..heh!

46) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
MILO!! hot or cold it dun matter..

47) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs?
hopefully travelling the world with my dearly beloved..

48) Last thing you ate?
M&Ms!!

49) What songs do you sing in the shower?
ummm.. tts between me and my darn shower.. heh!

50) Last thing that made you laugh?
marc, vik, ghaz and wan's dad.. they crack me up..

51) Worst injury you've ever had?
well, all over.. had a few twisted ankles, broken toe and stiff knees..

52) Does someone have a crush on you?
maybe.. are you allowed to know if they do?=P

53) What's your favorite candy?
SUGARY SWEETS!!

54) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Jimmy Eats World- Hear You Me

55) Five random people to do this! and why?
KARL- GOT YOU BACK BITCH!
cyn- coz i miss her
sam- cos she actualli has a blog! heh!
DIANA!!- coz she's got a freakin blog filled with waaayy to many pics
jazreel- provided you do these kinda stuff=)

2006-11-04T05:03:00.000+08:00

Sweetness- Jimmy Eats World

heh! its freakin 5.35 and i'm still awake.. damn.. got a match against MM ltr.. wonder if we'll will win not.. haiz.. scary.. i wonder y i always blog b4 a big match.. hmmm..heh! coincidence i guess..

Aniways, was at wan's hse just now abt 12 or so just chilin and crapping.. oh yes, swiiming as well!! hahaha!! it was fun sakz! i min like, it was gay la.. four guys in the freakin cold swimming pool but nonetheless fun.. hahahah!! wan's dad was entertaining us wid his jokes bout movin in and all and he was actually a pretty good host=)credits to him man! rock on...

so ryt, now tt tt's ovr wid, i wonder wadelse i shld crap about.. hmmm.. well 5 more days.. dang.. 4th month.. i'm freakin out cuz i have no idea wad to get her.. i wonder if she'll read this.. heh! dang i miss her.. wait, i just saw her yesterday... lol!

i doubt i'll b off to slp.. most pob generals and thn match str8 after.. god, the unnecessary loss of slp i put myself thru.. fuck..

*you got me fooled, though i denied it.. ass..*

2006-10-30T20:29:00.000+08:00

call me when you're sober- Evanescence

yes, tt song is a freakin earworm and i can't seem to stop listening to it.. heh! and soo here i am blogging.. well i actually should be at trisha's suprise bday at esplanade but i decided to skip it.. rili not in the mood plus the day was just a drag la.. haiz.. not to mention the fact that both skool and unoin work aint helping a single bit..

on a more joyful note, i'm glad ppl actuali find it funny that t get inspiration from peeing.. heh! yea, the more i tink abt it, the weirder it becomes but i tink its sumtin different yes? LOL!!

weLL enuf of lazing around.. time to get back to work.. i do wish trisha a super belated birthday and good luck to all the smart asses taking thier Pure Chem Practical tommorrow.. btw hon, that doesn't include you=P jz kiddin.. heh! tke cre ppL!!=)

*i came across this past saying of mine.. when i look into your eyes, i see you for you and not her....

2006-10-18T00:11:00.000+08:00

the Coldest heart- Classic Crime

so jz back from skool and dinner-ing wid my budds.. shiok.. damn shack la.. gave 2 yellow cards during SMA's street soccer sompetition so tt was cool.. will b refreeing again on thurs.. heh! I HOPE I DUN SCREW UP! heh..

so besides thrs SPSU match 2ml.. damn.. scared i screw that up as well. fuck.. hope my legs dun fail me..hmmm.. shacked, i'm out...

*i am trying to change.. not too much though..

2006-10-16T19:16:00.000+08:00

Why Cry- Panic Channel

hello my dear people.. yes, i'm back and this is time.. its gonna be a freakin weird entry.. cuz like today my inspiration comes from while i was peeing in the toilet.. yes, its tru! heh!!

well, i say tt is cuz i thought i'd touch on the finer things in life.. and believe it or not, they're REALLY FREE!! yep! ok.. let me give you a few scenarios..

1) you've been holdin in ur pee all day and finally, when its juz abt to burst, u find a cubicle and let the gates open.. heh! i tell u, tt feeling is undescribable and WONDERFUL!=P

2) you've thirsty the whole day and ur closest paL hands u a freakin chilled COKE! woohooo!! best ryt?

3) you just got back from boot camp that lasted a week.. you only had like 5 hours sleep in total.. and whn u get back, u tke a freakin nice hot shower and knock out!! wooohooo!!

yea, i noe u're getting as orgasmic as i am.. or mayb not.. heh! but yea.. i like those things, and they're FREE!! so never tell me that good stuff dun come cheap.. cz real fact.. they're actually free=P

ok..i'm fucking dumb.......

*i'd like to thank you, agn...

2006-10-13T03:22:00.000+08:00

the acoustic song- RJA

gotta start off by wishing my bro, THINESH, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY MAN!! heh! he's uprise party was thrown today and it was freakin awesome.. he had no darn idea it was coming.. at all.. LOL!=P

his face when he saw everi1 in his room, classic. yes, all 20+ of us stuffed into his freakin cramp room! maaan.. it was a nice experience la.. and you know, it was really nice to actually SUPRISE someone for once.. btw, i would like to take this oppurtunity to thank viknesh and ashwini for making all of us look good..best planners for suprise parties.. and yes, we're all good actors=P hahaha! pics of the bday bash will be shown below=)

so besides that, ummm, she was sick.. i was worried.. duh.. and hmmm.. a part of me wished i could be ryt beside her helping her.. but we all its impossible.. dang.. glad she felt better and she still could freakin make fun me.. oh yea, thnx for finally reading my blog hon.. heh! i wonder if you'll ever read that.. and yes, her mom's bday was today as well.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY 2 HER!! yay.. heh...

i nid a haircut.. i tink.. damn.. thick hair.. but yet my freakin hair keeps falling.. most probably cause of my geL.. but w/o it, my hair would be too sexy for ani1 to resist.. god.. hu am i kidding.. i'd die w/o you, my dear gel..=P yes, i'm lame.. god i need a life.....
*i had a dream, it came true.. all cause of you...

The whole SP gang with the birthday boy!

Thinesh with the prezzie: Nike Team Shift($88 contributed by all=))

The wait before storming thinesh's room..Yes, tts me rubbing thinesh's super awesome cake into his face=P
The organisers, Vik and Ashwini, with the dude of the hour..
the gang on the way home!!

Aite.. that its=) be back sooner than you tink.. and like that, i'm gone....

2006-10-09T21:56:00.000+08:00

rick price- Fixing a broken heart

yes.. 3rd month=)

i'm happy.. heh! rili glad i found u hon.. heh! ok.. i'm being gay.. but yea.. i love her loads.. i'm oretty sure she knows=)

ok.. skool suck 2day.. screwed up my SPSS test and ICE post camp meeting was ridicously long.. wth.. but it was kinda fun coz of the freakin lameass jokes we cracked.. shiok.. and yea.. SOCCER WID MY CLASS!! omg.. they freakin rock at it la.. ok.. gwean not so much=P wahahahahha!!

but yea, i'm jz rili gald we got to bond a lil more and sumore wid my fav sport! omg.. beautiful.. a dream class.. heh! DTRM 04.. u guys ROCK MY ASS!!=)

i'm out.. but do look out for more dumb ass rants.. off to study fuckin PACC.. bet i'm gona flop again..

*you don't need to say it dear, i love you too...

2006-10-07T19:29:00.000+08:00

malcom in the middle- channel 5

kaiz.. tired like crazy.. evntho i onli played keeper.. we won our match today, 2-1! heh! nice!=) dang leg still not getting ani better and to add to my misery, my freakin finger got injured as well.. heh!

interesting thing that happened today was that when i was in the lift.. wid the an indian lady.. she started talkin to me and i replied as though we knew each other for ages.. weird.. heh! but we were talkin bout the haze and stuff and like and when we reach the ground floor, she told me to take care of myself like she knew i was injured or something.. sooo weird.. heh!

yea.. off to go get ramly for dinner.. yay.. i'm tired.. bye

2006-10-07T02:22:00.000+08:00

Only hope- Mandy moore
(don't ask.. it was playin and i'm not gona lie abt it.. heh!)

so.. karL's gig.. lol! freakin hilarious cuz me and the gang, which included syafiqah, hayu, didi, nikki and salizah(or in other words sarrah's gang), mi, sarrah, sam and cyn, WERE FUCKIN LATE!! heck.. we like missed the original la.. and to tell the truth, i was kinda looking forward to that and not the rest of the songs la.. i min.. thrs juz sumtin abt originals that makes me go wow.. yea.. but unfortunately, that didn't happen.. oh well, we did catch plug in baby(orignally by muse) and enter sandman(by metallica). not bad if i do say so myself.. the singer was a lil off, but i guess the guitars managed to cover her.. it was her first time afterall.. and hell, put me up and i doubt i'll evn remember a word of the song..*tinks back to B.O.B(battle of the band) days..* hahahah!

so so.. after tt was te normal, normal.. we had dinner.. parted ways.. i sent her back home.. i actually was walkin back when i bumped into 3 girls.. one of em was cryin and so it would be normal to be curious ryt? WRONG!! cuz her frenz noticed tt i was payin attn to them and they walked up to me sayin that she lost her wallet and tt she needed cash to get back home.. at first, i was a lil skeptical but yea, i paused, looked at the girl's face and it DID look like she was crying for hours.. so tinkin tt it wouldn't b ani harm.. i passed thm like $5 and made my way.. dang.. lost $5 juz like tt.. call me cheapskate or wadeva but it was $5!!! heh! could have loads more with it..=P

but yea, it was kinda nice to feel good abt it cuz i helped a poor soul.. lol! maaan.. losing her wallet on mooncake festival.. wad a way to spark tings off wouldn't u say.. howeva, my mum was skeptical abt it and she was like,

mum: u gave them $5??! did u see them into the cab?
me: no..
mum: they most probably used your money go buy drinks la..
me: no
mum: and how would you know they didn't do tt if u didn't watch them leave?
me: i dunno

and then we jz continued watchin tv.. i min.. i saw her give that 'man, u're an idiot' look but i jz ignored it.. heh! i felt good so i dun cre..

dang.. $5......=P

*somehow, i always know u're gona b there...

2006-10-05T21:34:00.000+08:00

savin' me- nickleback

was browsin thru my photo collection and i started missing peeps.. dang i hate reminescing bout stuff itz shiok in a way but also like kinda depressing.. i min.. loads of my frenz frm sec sch have either moved away or jz moved out of contact.. mayb i jz dun make the effort.. mayb i jz depend on them too much.. wadeva it is, thrs notin i can chg now...

and yes, always warm up b4 a run.. random to u? mayb.. but wait till u get a thigh strain like mine.. fuck...

*we're almost there, though almost might be 100years from now...

2006-10-05T15:07:00.000+08:00

polygraph right now- the spiLL canvas

WAH!! SPSS IS A FUCKER!! god it sux.. recode la.. transform la.. argh! all bull.. thnk god i'm practising in skool.. hell.. if i was at home using my laptop.. i would thrown it.. heh!

she's havin french otal now.. i bet she'll screw it up.. god its gona b good laugh crapping abt it with her tonight.. provided i get the darn time.. oh wait.. NO SKOOL TOMMORROW!! wooHoo!! ok.. i definitely haev the time.. wonder if she will.. damn my timetable rocks.. heh! too bad for all u losers who still has skool on fridays.. heh! i'm evil.. muahahaha!

aite.. thats it fer now.. i'll most prob rant somemore ltr.. peace=)

2006-10-04T22:29:00.000+08:00

false pretense- the RJA

principal's dialogue was today and i tink itz the dumbing ting eva.. i min.. itz useful in a sense that the principal gets to hear about feeback bout stuff that is screwed up in skool but maaan.. the question.. god.. i bet if no1 stopped them, the ppl would have more thn a hundred questions, comments, complain and proposals.. yes.. all the above was mentioned during the darn ting.. and here i am wondering wad the hell did i gain from the whole thing..

well, there were the parts when the principals made jokes that onli he understood.. and the ppl behind me were laughin wid him.. no no.. more like at him.. but itz was freakin hilarious aniways.. and yes, there was the times whn we caught the head of the Corporate comm and also the asst deputy principal dozing off.. heh! maaan.. u should hv seen it man.. ppl askin them question and they aslp.. LOL!! so yea.. summary, all i gained were a few good laughs.. heh!

so besides tt wad else is thr to add.. well i saw karl on the train and yea we had dinner and talked bout gay stuff.. i wonder if i'll b able to make it to his perfomance.. hmmm.. i do hope so..

ok, i miss loads of peepz... heh! i sound gay but i do.. all the 4eB peeps.. the ppl who went JC like fahmi, cyn all and yea.. the ppl hu went other polys like karl, sam, jill all.. i do hope we mit soon yea.. tke cre all and i shall be back to rant more bullshit..=)

*smile, its the best way to fit in...

2006-10-03T17:55:00.000+08:00

Lips of an AngeL- Hinder

Yes, i'm back oh cruel world.. heh! more like cruel cousins... Yes simone, u noe its u i'm talkin about.. aniways, today was pretty awesome cuz i like totali skipped skool and like all lessons and stayed home to do SPSU work and PACC!!

yes ppl, u heard it ryt.. nigel's actually tryin to study PACC.. i kinda shocked myself as well but yea.. i tink i'm getting a hang of things.. i min, i'm no whizz but yea, passing the re test could actually be reality=P

aniways, my bro's exam is tommorrow and i have no idea bout how to help him at all.. what a fantastic bro i am huh.. oh well, best i can do pray i guess.. heh!

I gotta say sumtin here as well.. ummm.. its just for my grandaunty who passed on.. rest in peace nanima..

Sam, i gotta tell ya thnx for being there for me. I'm really fine. I guess it helps that i didn't know her that well and yea.. i do hope my cousins r holding up well...

ttz it for todays revelations.. heh! i dun evn what that word mins.. ok.. off to dictionary.com to find out.. lol! cya!=)

*thought it your not here, what memories we have we stay with us foreva. you'll always be around...

2006-10-02T21:50:00.000+08:00

woooooooohhhhhhoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yes yes.. i'm back people.. itz been like wad.. 4 months? or izzit longer.. heck.. doesn't matter does it.. impt ting iz tt i'm back and maaaan have tings happened since thn.. to do a summary or not to.. ttz the question..

oh well.. i guess in short i got a girl friend, sarrah's her name and an idiot she is.. but i'll admit i'm lucky to have her.. i got 2.944 for my GPA.. disappointed? yes but contented nonetheless.. besides tt i guess there was ICE camp which was a blast(since it didnt screw up) and SAA LTC as well.. heh! NAVAJO!! ok.. tt was random... still have a lil of the post camp spirit la.. lol!

what else oh what else... well.. me and her hv been at it for like wad.. close to 3 months now.. remarkable if u ask mi.. i min.. wid the amout of time we go head to head, itz a wonder how i still never regretted having her in my life for one single moment.. could still be the honeymoon period u say.. i wun disagree.. but yea.. i'm lovin how tingz are goin at the moment..

well, skool's a bitch.. we all noe tt so no use goin on blabbering abt it.. howeva, if i do blog agn soon, do be ready to see weird ass pics of my class and clubmates.. not forgeting my old buddies frm sec sch..

dang.. i guess i'm jz gona end here ryt now.. felt good crappin here agn.. who noes.. the next time i come back could be like tommorrow or another 4 months frm now.. anihows, dun stick arnd cuz yea, u'll jz b reading the same old crap ovr and ovr agn..

*i asked and u answered.. my heart's yours my dear.......

2006-07-07T16:32:00.000+08:00

WAH!!! fucker la karl! hahahah!! idiot... y my name must come now.. asshole.. haiz.. fyn la.. i guess i'll do it since my blog is kinda empty afterall.. heh! i wonder hu'll actually do it after i reveal 7 more ppl to do it.. hmmm...

7 random things about myself:
1. i'm long
2. i like black
3. music is life
4. i'm bored
5. so i decided to this
6. also cuz karl sabo-ed me to
7. i'm done=P

7 things that scare me:
1) CRABS!!!!
2) losing people close to my heart..
3) seeing ppl hu i noe tt are cool headed suddenly burst
4) the way i sometimes turn to a sore loser
5) the fact that our own life might not be ours to control
6) maanequins in the dark..( FUCKING SCARY LA!!!)
7) and ummm.. sam.. LOL! jz did that to annoy u..=P

7 random songs at the moment:
1> here with out you- 3 doors down
2> time is running out- muse
3> i can tell- saosin
4> a little's enough- angels and airwaves
5> If i fall- amber pacific
6> A Little Less Sixteen Candles, A Little More Touch Me- fall out boy
7> Stand by Me- The Temptations

7 things i like most:
1* my Family
2* hommiez
3* my other close frens
4* my handphone and MP3!!
5* my kick ass long freaky FINGERS!!
6* getting caught when moshing..=P
7* being sung to.......

7 things i say most:
1/ JAUH GILE BABI!!!
2/ KEPALA OTAK!!
3/ MEREKE...
4/ i swear bodoh
5/ fuck.. fuck.. fuck...
6/ haha??
7/ lol.. heh! wait.. i say tt alot to.. heh!=P

7 freaking people to do this
1} cyn
2} muni
3} yuni
4} HIDAYAH!!
5} Roach
6} AMY!!
7} ani1 hu was dumb enuf to reach tiz far..=P

ok karl.. i'm done.. u ass... hah! kaiz.. now off to sports club's agm.. cya!=)

2006-07-07T16:27:00.000+08:00

Super Massive Blackhole- Muse

ok.. in darn skool now typing out my darn marketing report.. sial la.. can die sakz.. haiz.. 10 pages MAN!!!! wah! jz on hearing that i tink i almost fainted.. heh! and i thought poly life was to slack..

hmmm.. evn the weekend is liked filled wid activities lyk floorball on saturday and RP's soccer tournament on sunday.. WAH! die la i lyk tt.. oh yea.. not to mention, EC test on monday and econs on thursday.. shiok!

nigel's dead... heh! good luck 2 me huh.. well i guess ttz it for tiz lame ass complain filled entry.. guess i jz needed somewhr to rant abt my stuff.. i'm out.. peace....

2006-07-03T20:08:00.000+08:00

Cute without the E- Taking Back Sunday

hey hey! yes.. i'm back.. and maaan.. i'm lyk soo darn confused!! fuck sakz... i min.. i noe it z weird la.. but i dun noe whether to be happy or dissapointed.. but thn agn.. izzit possible to be both?

well.. i'll start wid my happy story first.. ok.. so the big story behind y the hell i wanna be happy is simple..

GALATICOS WON OUR FIRST CUP!!!!!!!!

hahahah!! yes ah!! lol! we won a street soccer competition at eunos area.. and we were lyk the onli team from outside of the eunos area hu made it past the group stages la.. maaan.. it was damn scary after tt cuz all our opponents were kinda tough and plus they weren't playing cool as well la.. as in lyk leg tackles were crazy sakz... plus, i tink it was during my group stages whn i suffered a problem wid my knee.. and lyk... i had to play wid a bad knee throughout the tournament.. now tt was CRAZY!!

heh! but thnkfully we made it thru till the finals and thnk god for vik, kana and tash.. we were the CHAMPS! heh! glory glory galaticos huh.. heh!=)

and yes.. u guys shld noe the freakin bad news.. haiz.. brazil, argentina and england.. 3 simple words tt i'm sure would clear ani doubts u have bout my disappointment.. haiz.. well.. i guess it jz aint thier year huh.. well doesn't matter.. i'm not gonna watch ani more games alredi.. till the finals la.. heh! cant afford to miss that..=P

so yea.. ttz practically a wrap of m recent blabberings la.. shall be back to add more dumbass stuff soon..=)

tke cre ppL...

2006-06-29T19:37:00.000+08:00

International You day- No use for a Name

so i'm back.. wow! second post in two days.. tiz is a new.. lol! rili look lyk i'm back in it ey.. hmmm.. well... i missed skool 2day.. half sick and more tired so yea.. u figure out why i skipped.. lol! practically did crap 2day but lyk did a lil chatting wid peepz la.. namely cyn, sam and azura.. yea.. chatted wid her abt the gig tt i was at last week.. heh! it was nice talkin 2 her again la.. damn entertaining.. heh! ah yes, the gig.. it was awesome!! it was on a friday and it was jz mi, cyn and karl.. it started out slow but the momentem grew and b4 i knew it.. i was actuali enjoyin myself.. to the point i joined a mosh and got fcukin CAUGHT!! lol!! yes ppl.. i elbowed a security guard and he pulled mi out and gave me a warning.. LOL!! i was lyk damn malu but wadeva la.. it was fun moshing evn if it lasted 5 secs.. heh!

well yea.. practically ttz wad i wanted to blog about la.. oh yea.. met my fren sonia thr as well and the four of us made our way home.. photo of it below..

sori karl.. i u're pic not thr.. LOL!! hmmm.. but ummm.. he was wearing a rolemodel shirt everi1!! ok.. i hope tt did justice for ur face not being thr.. heh!=P

well.. i guess i'll jz end here for 2day.. tke cre ppL! i got a feeling i'll back 2 blog more soon=)

2006-06-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

save me from me- amber pacific

GUESS HU'S BACK!!!!!!!!! heh!! yes ppl.. it me.. ur old old OLD fren nigel.. and yes.. this blog has been on hiatus for a superbly long time.. heh! i dun apologise for that though.. lol! i wonder if ani1 will actuali realise that i hv a new entry.. hmmm.. i tink it'l be interesting to see yea?

heh! so.. where did i leave off.. well u noe i'm in SP and yea.. i joined SPSU and yada yada.. so practically life's still the same.. stuff happened, yes, but if i were to go into detail, this will go on 4eva.. so i guess i'll say wads going on at the moment which is tt i'm slacking like crazy, my grades r lyk crap but the brightside.. i passed all my modules!! so far la.. hmmm... i wonder how much i'll screw up in my mids.. heh! thw thought of that makes mt freakin spine tingle.. LOL!

so yea.. i guess i'll end here for now.. and i guess i'll continue to update as and when i feel like it.. to all those that actually check back at my blog, i hope this was a nice suprise=P

tke cre ppL and pray i'll b back to blog more..=)