Bad day turn good.

Please don't go - Mike Posner

Bad day at work so all I wanted to do was run back home. No seriously. Run. HAHA!

It was an insane feeling but then I guess it's kinda impossible since like I gotta bring my wallet and everything back to my place so I just decided to be civil and head back home as a normal person would.

Got home to my love and she was being a lazy pig as usual. But today, she wanted to go jogging! So hey, not too bad I thought to myself. I'll still go running but as far as I would. How wrong I was. I barely broke a SWEAT! HAHAHA!

Looking at the way we're going, Rachel needs a lot of work. And since running is one of my all-time-quite-ok-at -doing things, I'm gonna help her. I just hope this collaboration is going to work out. Lol!

As for my space? I guess I'm getting used to it. Running around the estate kinda gave me a good feeling and I suppose I'll be doing it more often. I guess good things can come out from tough situations. You just gotta have a diamond right by your side.

Lash out.

I'm tired.

"Don't take it too seriously."

Seriously mum. Seriously!? I can't begin to explain the amount of anger and frustration I feel now. How does what my mum say like half the time even make sense to me. Or to anyone else for that matter. It doesn't. And the way she goes about saying things is on a level that even I cannot comprehend.

I'm afraid that her priorities lie somewhere where I'm not going to be happy.

It's fucked up for a son to say that but the more I listen to her reasons, the more I feel that the only person she's thinking about is herself. I've only been wanting to do what I think is right. And for very good reason, I feel that I'm failing miserably. My dad's starting to lose his weight on her opinions as well and I think he's just gonna step aside and see how this plays out.

Time.

That's something I've not been given. And it's not something that anyone's willing to give at this moment because what they want is change. Change that will make them feel at ease. Change that will put a smile on their face without holding back anything because there is no baggage to hold them back. Change is not going to come if you don't give it time. And even if there was change, nothing can erase what has happened. NOTHING.

Probably I feel so strongly about it because the event is recent. The feelings are still fresh in mind. If that's the case then fine, give me time and maybe, just maybe things might be different. But let me warn you, maybe is weak. It's a word that comes with no promise and commitment. It's simply a hope. And with what I've been through, I'm done with hope. So I'd advice you do the same.

I personally feel I've been abusing this blog. I write when I want to. I leave you on hiatus for god knows how long. And when things are shit again, I'm back here. Maybe I'm only acting the way I've been treated. Yep, it's that word again, maybe.

A Week's gone by.

Hey Soul Sister- Train

So week 1 has passed by and hey, I'm still here in Sembawang. That's a good start, I guess.

Well it was the best feeling when Anga and Vik insisted we have home cooked food. Like I don't why, but that thought just ,meant alot to me. Like I mean that's the basic thing you lack when you're not in your own home you know. Plus we're not really allowed to cook here so yeah, when they offered to pass us home cooked food, I just felt like tearing up. It's not something you expect from a friend and yet it come naturally for them. Sometimes blood isn't just about red liquid that run through your veins. My friends have thought me that.

Tash and Vas joined Rach and I for a movie. The Green Hornet. More like The Great waste of time. LOL! But yeah, Tash was insanely keen on watching it so I guess we all gave in to him. Rach and Vas fell asleep(no surprise there right?) and Tash and I both confessed that this was by far one of the dumbest movies we've ever watched. Heh! But for me, what was more important was that I was spending time with them. Even if it isn't everyone, it doesn't matter.

I know a WHOLE lot of people aren't happy with my decision to move out. But it's not like I wanted to. It's just something I have to do. Something temporary. At least I hope it is.

Rach and I finally got rid of the freaking bed frames that took up like HALF the room. It's more spacious now. And yes, more umm, like home?

Like What?!

Decode- Paramore

Hey! Yes, I'm back with an insane history and too much to say. Not gonna bother filling you up with all the details but basically, I moved out.

Yep, it's day four here in Sembawang and Rach and myself are living all by ourselves! It's fucking scary nonetheless but somehow, I know this will be good for us. It's a stage not many get to go through so in my heart and mind, I'm gonna keep this positive and somewhere down the road, hopefully this experience will serve me well.

I just feel really bad that Rach has to go through this because firstly, she's freaking young and secondly, she really doesn't deserve this after all she's been through. But I know more than anything, she needs me and that's exactly what I'm going to be doing. I'm gonna always be here for her.

Moving into a different environment is fucking crazy. I mean, I don't know. I thought my first place would be a house and or an apartment and not a room. But hey, the circumstances are such so whatever right? heh! I'm sure we'll pull through.