Fucked up. Got 21 for my staying out but I'm ok with it. Felt that somehow, someway, I did what I set out to do and I pray she feels it to. I know I did what was right because there's no way anyone would give me what I, what we needed, unless I told them everything which is something I'd never contemplate doing. Period.
Besides that, stuff at work is good and that's probably the most I can say. LOL! Rachel's been an angel and she's doing pretty good in school. I managed to get everything I've wanted so far but there's much much more to work for. So case in point, I can't stop pushing myself. Gotta work out for BAC and hit the books for my undergraduate program thingy. Sounds lie uni entry but I promise you, it isn't. LOL! It's only 8 weeks long thing but apparently it's pretty awesome.
Kinda sinking in that I'm probably not gonna get the call from SMU. I mean, I honestly felt I did my best but you know, results are results. I fucked up in Poly and I guess I'm paying for it now. But c'mon, you know me, I've got a plan B. It's pretty crazy and gonna take me sometime but I'm going to do it. Yep, part-time degree. I mean it ain't easy and it sure as hell isn't full fledged but I'm gonna go ahead and work that option out if SMU doesn't call. I can't afford to waste anymore time. Every year wasted is a year my life goals get pushed back.
Marrying her and crossed my mind countless times this week and yes, it's waaaaay before I got caught for staying out. Well, I didn't ACTUALLY got caught. But hey, who's keeping score right? Back to it, I want our wedding to be kickass. And I want the proposal to be kickass too. She deserves it. And so do I. Shocking that I'm selfish? I know of a couple of people that wouldn't be.
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