I love how my blog is public and yet has no traffic. I mean I guess I've always silently hoped that someone somewhere is reading it but I guess there isn't. Sad ah. But why? I watch House and I noticed how he is somehow able to analyse someone just based on what they say and what they're actions are.
Duh! That's how you normally judge a person but he does it with such accuracy that it constantly leaves me dumbfounded. Who the hell am I kidding? It's a fucking tv show for god's sake. Nonetheless, I really don't know who I am or even what I'm meant to do here. I have dreams, yes, and I have a direction but sometimes I ask myself if I'm more than that. Why do I not want to change the world? Why don't I feel the obligation to do charity work? I'm in a world where I know many of things I do affect the Earth and again the acts of conservation but yet I do them anyway. Why?
Why do i feel compelled to help out in my friend's problems and figure that I don't have any? Why do I feel that the way I rationalise with things is the RIGHT way to rationalise? I do. Really. And as I type all this down I ask myself fundamentally, will any of this even make me consider changing the person I am?
I don't know.
I need feedback. I don't know if I'm alright or annoying or simply fucking stuck up. I don't know if I choose not to care on purpose or simply because it's too much of hassle. Volunteerism's just not a part of my vocabulary because I feel I need to accomplish my goals before I can even bother about those less fortunate? Selfish? I agree but as I type this, nothing. I don't feel it's wrong at all.
What's become of me? I wonder where that emotionally-driven young man has gone. And what has filled this shell that man has left behind. I guess it's back to mirror for some more reflection. Oh wait, I've got better things to do.
