I love how my blog is public and yet has no traffic. I mean I guess I've always silently hoped that someone somewhere is reading it but I guess there isn't. Sad ah. But why? I watch House and I noticed how he is somehow able to analyse someone just based on what they say and what they're actions are.
Duh! That's how you normally judge a person but he does it with such accuracy that it constantly leaves me dumbfounded. Who the hell am I kidding? It's a fucking tv show for god's sake. Nonetheless, I really don't know who I am or even what I'm meant to do here. I have dreams, yes, and I have a direction but sometimes I ask myself if I'm more than that. Why do I not want to change the world? Why don't I feel the obligation to do charity work? I'm in a world where I know many of things I do affect the Earth and again the acts of conservation but yet I do them anyway. Why?
Why do i feel compelled to help out in my friend's problems and figure that I don't have any? Why do I feel that the way I rationalise with things is the RIGHT way to rationalise? I do. Really. And as I type all this down I ask myself fundamentally, will any of this even make me consider changing the person I am?
I don't know.
I need feedback. I don't know if I'm alright or annoying or simply fucking stuck up. I don't know if I choose not to care on purpose or simply because it's too much of hassle. Volunteerism's just not a part of my vocabulary because I feel I need to accomplish my goals before I can even bother about those less fortunate? Selfish? I agree but as I type this, nothing. I don't feel it's wrong at all.
What's become of me? I wonder where that emotionally-driven young man has gone. And what has filled this shell that man has left behind. I guess it's back to mirror for some more reflection. Oh wait, I've got better things to do.
1 comment:
I read your blog so I guess I am that "someone somewhere".
People volunteer when they have the time. Some of us are so caught up with our own lives to even spare a thought for others/ the needy. But I guess a true test of oneself is when you're in a situation that requires a spontaneous altruistic effort and what do you do? Walk away or be there. The right thing to do is don't be suddenly blind. But if you do become suddenly blind, are you okay with that? If you are then I guess good for you and your conscience. But knowing you, you're always thinking of how you can do something better so I don't believe you will turn a blind eye.
I think you're a driven person. But occasionally you need peoples' opinions for you to see the flip side of things. You can't be one dimensional and you're not actually.
You're not stuck up. We're friends so you're not stuck up. You're annoying though. LOL but you and I are too close for that kind of thing to come between us.
I hope you change your undies everyday and STOP EATING McDONALDS! You will die so fast. you're indian don't forget that. heart problem, blood problem etc etc
okay love you. see you in....13 days!
Post a Comment