So I've been meaning to write for quite a while now and I guess I finally got the sense, wit and balls to write tonight. =)
So it's May and much has happened from January and yes, it's been one heck of a roller coaster. And I'm convinced the next half of year is not going to be any easier. Many conversations have been had about how we're gonna cope but somehow, we always fall back on the fact that things will work out. No couple, rational or irrational, can confidently state that they will always sail past troubled waters. Most of it is left up to fate and most of the time, all we have to depend on is each other.
I must say that things with her are insanely different from what I'm used to and to be honest, it is a actually a pretty good difference. It's alot more mature, a mutual understanding and a willingness to hear each other out. I guess it was important that I went through to all the relationships I went through to finally reach the state where I can truly appreciate what I have at this moment of time.
Thank you.
These 26 years, I've been through... Let's say that a lot doesn't seem to actually hit the spot. I've loved, I've lost. I've friended and I have have questioned those friendships. I thought I had the understanding of true love only to see it burn right in front of me. Heck, I'm even facilitating it because the foundation upon it is built on doesn't coincide with my values. Yes, the fact that he is related to me does worry me. I mean, how does one ignore genetics and upbringing, right? But I am the child of my beautiful mother as well and that is fact I will choose to hold on to.
On the front of friendships, it's hard to comment and come to conclusion on what I have experienced but what I know I need to let out is that people change. For crying out loud, one of the most common sayings is that change is only constant. And if we are not willing to change, if we continuously believe that we are amazing individuals who do not require change or that we should ALWAYS be accepted for who are, then maybe we don't fully understand what dealing with real life is about. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that you cannot be yourself. Sure you can. Go ahead, be yourself but be very aware of the consequences of doing so. And if it something you're willing to deal with, be my guest. If it isn't, then get with the program and be adaptable. Understand that the world revolves around the Sun and not us. I've gladly accepted that and I truly believe I'm a little happier for doing so.
Happiness. Hah. Maybe a topic I shan't dwell too much into except for the fact that I'm 26 and it's about time I did what I could to make me happy. Before long it'll be down to me thinking about whether I've made the fullest of my life. That would be one heck of a moment ey.
As I take a deep breath and another sip of my Blue Moon (yes, it's soo fuckin good), I look back at my 26 years and realise that there isn't a point to speak about the the love I've had or lost. What matters is that thanks to everyone I've had the blessing to meet, I am person I am today. Am I unhappy with me now? Hell no. Are there things I can work on? Most definitely and that is the reason why I will continue to live. To push on. To exist.
Much Love, Good Night and Sweet dreams Starry skies.
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