Insomnia-Craig David

tried to but i can't sleep. on my mind? redemption.

i've been trying to be someone that i'm not. and yesterday it hit me hard. like bang. i don't know why but somehow i just felt i had to try doing what i did before i go into NS because that basically marks the end of my freedom. how childish can i get? seriously, my immaturity sickens me to my stomach. i thought i had to go out, try to be this cassanova and attract whoever i could so that i could get the feeling of being in control.

STUPIDEST FUCKING THING I HAVE EVER THOUGHT OF. PERIOD.

it's not who i am. it's NEVER been who i am. and i don't like the person i've become. i need to set myself straight. keep my sights on one and try to make things work with her. i need to come back. i need my balooned head to come back down to earth.

i'm sorry to those i've hurt and seriously, i know this counts for shit but yea, my heart goes out to those i've neglected or hurt in the process of this selfish excuse for freedom. i never wanted freedom, maybe all i wanted is to try to be someone who i thought i needed to be to just prove something to myself. UGH! i can't believe it even came to this really. damn.

i need to prove i can be better. tomorrow's a new day right?

my apologies especially to you. i've been a selfish ass and.. you can go ahead and write whatever you feel. i'm sorry for commenting on what you wrote. you have all the right too. i was thinking of myself, as usual. my heartfelt apology is right here, i just hope you accept it. you are the one of the nicest people i've met, i'll admit to that.