I'm at the verge. I don't know why or how I got here but I am. Ok, maybe I DO know how but why. Why suddenly decide that I'm tired and even though we've been through soo much, I don't see the point in pushing on.
Maybe it's the HUGE change in both our characters and directions that has woken me up. Maybe it's the fact that sometimes, even though I don't want it to, it IS awkward to meet. I never wanted it to be that way. Never. But the void I feel, it is something I'm creating? I don't feel that way ya know. It somehow makes me feel as though I'm the one that needs this and I guess it's just simply frustrating me.
What's making me hold on are the fine threads that link back to memories and times of hardship that I hold onto soo dearly. But is that the point when it's not the same anymore? I wonder if.... Ah, I guess we'll just go on this way. No choice.
I gotta be up at 6 and here I am writing this. I miss what we had. And I don't want to let go of it but for now, it just feels better to go on and let it be. Knowing that all our lives are filled and you probably have you life planned out is good enough for me. I'm always a call away. Always.
And now I begin to freak out because I have no idea how late I'll be for work. Fuck.
No comments:
Post a Comment