Out in Oklahoma now and it's freaking freezing! Work's been kinda tough but the company has been fantastic! Got alot of early mornings and late nights and to be honest it has been wearing me down. Probably because I've been slacking at the workplace.
My tummy's increasing in size and like I've mentioned in SOOO many posts, I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT!! If I don't I'm really gonna start suffering and that is not good for my performance.
Need to find focus. Focus in whatever I'm doing honestly. I'm really glad I'm working this guy who, though is younger, seems to be teaching quite a little bit about myself. I guess what I'm understanding now is my main reasons for being incompetent but to change it REALLY difficult. I feel soo out of place and again, it makes me reflect on myself as a soldier, as a leader and as a person. There's soo much for me to learn but it seems that I'm unable to retain most of it. I blame it on human nature and even if it IS my fault, screw it, I'm still blaming mother nature.
But I've done a few things right and I'm proud of myself but somehow I just feel I should be doing more. And the fact that I know I'm not doing enough and not doing anything about it is disappointing. Ah screw it, its just one of those nights.
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