The Runaway.

So I'm waiting around and when I wait what I do? Yes, I think.

I realise I've still been going in reverse and I'm in a spiral that seems to be hurting those around me. I spoke about wanting company and I thought I found someone who could be that company I was looking for but I'm not too sure anymore.

I'm in run away from any commitment mode. I can't. I know I'm not gonna be all in. It's not fair to either one of us. And I don't want that. All I want is company but somehow, this person makes me feel that to expect that is wrong.

I blame me. My actions. What I choose to say. Everything. I need to be more aware I guess. But if I'm aware, I won't be myself. I don't want that.

Essentially, I want a girlfriend who's not my girlfriend. The fuck is wrong with me. God knows.

Well look at the time. Yep, it's time to get shit-faced. See you in the morning, I hope :)