So this weekend was a pretty gloomy one and I haven't been hiding it with all my friggin emo posts on Facebook. I started missing her again and I began questioning if I was a bad person for everything I put her and many others through for my own well being.
I don't know if I am but honestly, knowing someone who would think that of my would just kill me. I mean that person has to be someone I really really care about. So I met Tash and we sat down and talked. Like really talked. It was good. It was different. I feel I'm making progress in getting through to him. I really don't think what we're going through is the worst things in the world but it is pretty damn heavy.
I came to conclusion previously that the only way I would want to be better is when I've found someone new but something he said kinda makes me want to take back my conclusion.
You can't have it all. You can one but then you're gonna have to forgo something else.
It just made me think about how I know my end game is to be a dad and have a family but honestly, it's not the only thing I wanna accomplish. I keep telling myself that everything I do should be in the direction to help me achieve that goal of being a dad but I should concentrate on other things as well.
I'm on a mission to find something that drives me that is not about being in a relationship. I can be an improved version of myself in something else. I'm sure it's possible if I just give it a chance.
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