The C word.

Cups (When I'm gone) - Anna Kendrick

Main thing that got me writing for this post the urge I had to want to talk to someone. Just meet someone and talk. So that I'll stop thinking about the what ifs. I had the urge for something very specific. 

I wanted to speak to someone who was female and could simply look me in the eyes and listen to everything I said. To not just listen but make the right comments and hold my hand. I wanted someone to make me feel safe. Like everything's gonna be alright. 

I think it's pretty damn obvious I miss companionship. Is that such a wrong thing really? I know it is I guess. And I know I'm supposed to be much stronger but for what really? I'm moving towards being being postive. I have actually been working out and studying and yea, the whole drinking thing failed this week again since I ended up at Patrick's place on Saturday but hey, I'm pretty fuckin unhappy. And I know it.

I asked myself what was my motivation to push myself to be happy and I came up with nothing. Not a fucking thing.

So if you can't tell yet, I'm preety pissed off. I shouldn't be saying half the things I am up there but hey, it's out so sue me.

Maybe I'll have better luck in the weeks to come.

One interesting point to note about this week was the glee episode and how the episode was a tribute to Cory Monteith who played Finn. It just reminded me of Jakey. I'm still really happy about the night we had to remember the things he did. He was happy. He was adventurous. And most of all, he was a kind kind soul. May his soul rest in peace. 

And with that, we'll end on a good note by introducing my baby niece! She was born on the 12th of Oct. Hopefully I'll get a chance to see her soon :) Time to man up and be a good uncle. Gotta make sure she never sees this blog first. Heh! Night.