Good Morning Lover.

I'm at a stage with Rachelyn that completely blows my mind. The level of which I think about her instantly sends me to Happyville and it looks like I'll be staying there for a while.

I'm amazed at so many of the things she does. Conversations are endless and we are always able to connect and speak about subjects form varying degrees. She constantly is able to surprise me with her perception and her opinions on the topics we are discussing.

It warms my heart to feel this way. In fact I'm pretty sure I've never felt this way about anyone I loved before her. This is scary to say but I'm head over heels for this girl to a level that I don't think I'll ever be happy if she left.

But I'm pretty damn sure she feels the same way too. 😁

She has this way if showing it that no one else comes close to. She's made me realise that I don't to hear the words. Her actions speaks way louder that those 3 words spoken.

She inspires me to be better and that is what I know I need in my life. I know I need her. :)  

Sleepless state of mind.

I can't for the life of me seem to be able to rest well the past 2 nights. I'm just really disappointed that I let someone else dictate how I should spend my time. I let myself be lead that someone who I believe I respect but I know I don't.

What of person does this make me. How have I been living this life?

These thoughts, these questions, they sicken me to my stomach but I cannot ignore them. Do I continue to just keep going and hoping for change or do I enforce it and not be able to look at myself in the mirror?

This life scares the living daylights out of me sometimes. And that makes me want to run. But then I ask, run where? To what?

Now that uncertainty daunts me even further.

Because I'm...

One month on and gosh am I happy! Of course we have our differences but honestly I feel they're the reason we need one another. Heh! Who would've thought right?

And they said what?

Remember how everyone told you it would feel soo much better if you actually shared how you feel.

I'll be the one to remind you that it rarely ever happens. Somehow you end up feeling even crappier now that you've placed it on someone else.
I'd like to say we're different but I'm not in the mood to dwell into that, too bad.