I can't for the life of me seem to be able to rest well the past 2 nights. I'm just really disappointed that I let someone else dictate how I should spend my time. I let myself be lead that someone who I believe I respect but I know I don't.
What of person does this make me. How have I been living this life?
These thoughts, these questions, they sicken me to my stomach but I cannot ignore them. Do I continue to just keep going and hoping for change or do I enforce it and not be able to look at myself in the mirror?
This life scares the living daylights out of me sometimes. And that makes me want to run. But then I ask, run where? To what?
Now that uncertainty daunts me even further.
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