Good Morning Lover.

I'm at a stage with Rachelyn that completely blows my mind. The level of which I think about her instantly sends me to Happyville and it looks like I'll be staying there for a while.

I'm amazed at so many of the things she does. Conversations are endless and we are always able to connect and speak about subjects form varying degrees. She constantly is able to surprise me with her perception and her opinions on the topics we are discussing.

It warms my heart to feel this way. In fact I'm pretty sure I've never felt this way about anyone I loved before her. This is scary to say but I'm head over heels for this girl to a level that I don't think I'll ever be happy if she left.

But I'm pretty damn sure she feels the same way too. 😁

She has this way if showing it that no one else comes close to. She's made me realise that I don't to hear the words. Her actions speaks way louder that those 3 words spoken.

She inspires me to be better and that is what I know I need in my life. I know I need her. :)  

Sleepless state of mind.

I can't for the life of me seem to be able to rest well the past 2 nights. I'm just really disappointed that I let someone else dictate how I should spend my time. I let myself be lead that someone who I believe I respect but I know I don't.

What of person does this make me. How have I been living this life?

These thoughts, these questions, they sicken me to my stomach but I cannot ignore them. Do I continue to just keep going and hoping for change or do I enforce it and not be able to look at myself in the mirror?

This life scares the living daylights out of me sometimes. And that makes me want to run. But then I ask, run where? To what?

Now that uncertainty daunts me even further.

Because I'm...

One month on and gosh am I happy! Of course we have our differences but honestly I feel they're the reason we need one another. Heh! Who would've thought right?

And they said what?

Remember how everyone told you it would feel soo much better if you actually shared how you feel.

I'll be the one to remind you that it rarely ever happens. Somehow you end up feeling even crappier now that you've placed it on someone else.
I'd like to say we're different but I'm not in the mood to dwell into that, too bad.

That fondly feeling

Heart that's filled with joy every time I know I've done something to make her day better. Even if that smile lasts for a mere 5 mins.

I'm very very fond of this girl and there is no denying it.

Nigel, get yourself together. No one likes a constantly sappy kinda love.

Let that part die.

Tried to go back to contacting a few people who owe me for past deeds and received a rude awakening. Guess there was indeed a very good reason I stayed away from talking to these people for such a long time.

Need to learn to understand that no all human beings care about the past. Not even if you never really asked for anything in return.

Oh well. Lesson Learnt and Moving On.

12 September 2014.

Hey,

I'm looking to make new memories and to meet what I hope to be my own happy ever after.

And this definitely feels like I'm taking a step in the right direction.

Good night Starry sky and thank you. :)

Weekend

The way I look forward to seeing, holding, touching and hearing her is just the way an overworked employee of a ruthless organisation looks forwad to the weekend. Heh.

She's my weekend :)

Why you gotta be so rude.

So it feels like the broken record going over and over again.

Maybe I will just have to cave in and decide that it would be impossible to ever get what I want.

Maybe this is my reason to just stop being who I am and to learn to be someone who need to see things in a different light altogether.

Ah fuck.

There, I said it

I said it and she said it back. Honestly, it felt like a dream. It really really did. She look beautiful and as I stared into her eyes I couldn't hold it back any longer.

It felt unreal to hear her say it. I'm actually still in denial.

I know deep inside that she isn't ready but who really is when it comes to love. We're just gonna take the leap and see how it goes from there.

Let's just hope she'd like to meet me half way.