Relevance vs Change

More - Usher

It was like an epiphany. Hit me yesterday while I was just sparing myself sometime to think.

The need to be relevant and the change that comes with it.

Why this even came to mind is a wonder but I guess it just came while I was thinking about work and whether I was missing a lot while I'm on MC. Things like that worry me and sometimes I feel that's gonna make me a workaholic. But then again I'm a fucking slacker and everyone knows that so I think I'll be fine. Moving on.

Everyone gets that in order to stay relevant to the times of today, we need to make changes in the way we live life, the way we wear our clothes etc. so that we don't fall out of the loop. That is what life is like to me. A loop. But it's an ever changing loop that if you take a step back, reoccurs every few years. But that's just me. But IF that's true then why bother changing at all.

Sometimes, I feel it's our NEED to stay relevant and that's why we end up changing ourselves and the way we live life. The need to stay relevant IS our way of life and we're sucked into this never ending vortex because of all the influences and avenues by which change is portrayed to be the way to live life. Think about it, life was never this way before the internet, agreed?

Now, if what I wrote is hypothetically true, then is it not possible that it could be our NEED to be relevant that changes arises. Which means that we create the change just so we have something to be relevant to. So did change come first or the need to be relevant? Maybe I'm comparing apples with oranges but I'd figure otherwise.

Probably it's just another attempt for me to rant. Well in that case, sorry to put you through that.

Tattoo

Bat Country - Avenged Sevenfold

Having on of those secondary school moments thus the reason for Ax7. Heh!

Anyways, as far as I can remember, I've always wanted to get a tattoo and on my shoulder blade but I never knew exactly what I wanted. Now I'm sure and I'm gonna get it on the 23rd muthafuckers!!

The setback? $950!! I almost flipped when I heard the price. But I'll be fine I think. Not too sure about my friends and my mum though. Insane shit. But it's for life so yea, I've pretty much set my mind on it. The artist has like 15 years of history so basically, I'M STOKED.

Not sure if I'll get another but I'll definitely update once I get it. Sometimes I don't know why the fuck I do what I do but fuck it, I'll do it anyways. Life's too short.

Surgery!

Speak now - Taylor Swift

Don't blame me, Rach's selection. LOL!

Anyways, had my back surgery for the lipoma that was there. Basically, a lump of fat. LOL! Yes, I'm soo fat that, like a camel, I have to store it in back. LOL!

The camel thing only came to me today. Weird how my mind works. Well the op hurt like a bitch because trying to be a man, I opted for local anesthesia. Fucking bad idea. If you ever have to do an op, go for GA. The doc didn't place enough so while he was scraping out the fats, he hit a spot that was injucted with LA and eventually I shrieked. FUCKING PAIN. No no you don't get it. It MUTHA FUCKING HURT! But yeah, me being me just tried to tahan la and eventually, he just kept stabbing me with the LA every time I jerked. yes I know, this should be on FML.com. Heh!

Besides that, I got a 14 day MC of which I 'm only taking 2 days. Afraid I'd miss too much at work and plus being missing isn't a good thing especially at the start of my career, if I could call it that.

I hope it heals up in while. Planning to get my tattoo done next week and still contemplating on getting my off-road hardtail that costs like $700. Like I said, it's a plan. Let's see how it all pans out. Thanks for being here. I like doing this.

Stumped.

Do it like a dude - Jessie J

Need a break. Seriously.

I just want to run away because this bullshit is simply getting out of hand and it's not something that I want to deal with now. Just got to know that I might be posted out of my unit sooner than expected which is not something I'd like to happen anytime soon. FUCK. I want to go to the States with them and kinda stick around because I was just getting used to the life there and plus I was just starting to get a hang of how things ran in the unit.

Promotion's here but there's nothing to be happy about. I thought I'd be smiling and everything would be going my way but it's the opposite. And basically one external factor is constantly staring me down waiting for it's opportunity to pounce and knock me out when I'm already down.

I'm not going to let it. This is my written promise that will get up every time I'm down. I'm going to stare straight back it and succeed. I have people who believe and love me and only want me to reach greater heights. The most important factor? My baby girl.

But I just read her blog and honestly, I think I take her for granted. But mostly, I'm afraid. I'm too fucking ball-less to hear what's she going to say because I know that there's nothing I can do about it except let her know that I'm here for her. And even I truly know that that's not always possible.

This is one of those moments that you want a punching bag because you feel like you've been the punching bag for too long.

Need to bounce back before it engulfs me.