Need a break. Seriously.
I just want to run away because this bullshit is simply getting out of hand and it's not something that I want to deal with now. Just got to know that I might be posted out of my unit sooner than expected which is not something I'd like to happen anytime soon. FUCK. I want to go to the States with them and kinda stick around because I was just getting used to the life there and plus I was just starting to get a hang of how things ran in the unit.
Promotion's here but there's nothing to be happy about. I thought I'd be smiling and everything would be going my way but it's the opposite. And basically one external factor is constantly staring me down waiting for it's opportunity to pounce and knock me out when I'm already down.
I'm not going to let it. This is my written promise that will get up every time I'm down. I'm going to stare straight back it and succeed. I have people who believe and love me and only want me to reach greater heights. The most important factor? My baby girl.
But I just read her blog and honestly, I think I take her for granted. But mostly, I'm afraid. I'm too fucking ball-less to hear what's she going to say because I know that there's nothing I can do about it except let her know that I'm here for her. And even I truly know that that's not always possible.
This is one of those moments that you want a punching bag because you feel like you've been the punching bag for too long.
Need to bounce back before it engulfs me.
No comments:
Post a Comment