Aerosmith- I don't wanna miss a thing

the day was perfect. look in one direction and you'll see the perfect blue sky with the fluffiest cloud and the breeze seemed to just caress your face with a slightly cooling tingle. turn around and your eyes behold an area crawling with onlooking people. an area that was cordoned off by police tape. you know it's never a good thing when a white piece of plastic is lying on floor.

i arrived at 4.10pm, almost 15mins after i received the call from tash. i arrived to the scene where aunty prema and muhes were weeping. i held back. i thought he might still be alive. i prayed as i made my way. i didn't want him to pass on. it was not his time.

but he did and there was nothing i could do. nothing anyone could do. i sat there and looked. tears began to fill my eyes. i felt sadness for vik. i felt sadness for muhes. but somehow, i felt anger at the same time. i am an emotional guy, i admit to that. i stood up, looked around and made a realization that i wasn't alone.

the investigation officer did what they needed to do and vik began to walk away. i straightened myself out and went to his side. andy, tash, dev, maddu, mohan, os, shahl and andy were all there for him. it was painful to see what he was going through. i tried soo freaking hard to hold back my tears and so did the rest. i know they did.

we waited for almost 5hours before the body was taken back to mortuary. within that time, the wailing from relatives and family members were distant and far in between. and to listen to them as they happened was unbearable. i'll admit that i myself did breakdown. some moments were just too overwhelming.

the moments i remember the most were the times when the breeze would just blow past and silence would just fill the air around me. it felt as though everything is alright. it's like God's way of saying, "Stop crying. It's my turn to take care of him."

when the body left, everyone worked like clockwork. the house was cleared within moments and the pictures were covered. we stayed the night through talking and reminisce about the past, trying hard to keep our minds off the situation that unfolded hours before. i came home, and all i did was think about the situation the love ones that were left behind had to face with. i began to start thinking what he was thinking about in those final moments. i began to think of things that he didn't think about. it saddened me and all i did was watch movies till my eyes finally shut.

when i finally came around, it was time for the funeral. alot of waiting for the body to arrive and when he finally did, a reception worthy of a rockstar, as many would say, was awaiting him. i helped to carry the casket up and down. tash was there as well because they needed people of equal height to help with the tranferring of the casket.

before the casket left, i placed a garland that thiya, a friend from jurong bird park, passed me to placed on him on behalf of her. as i placed it, i took a good look at him. i placed my hands together, paid my respects, prayed very hard that his soul would rest in peace and then made my way. it was a moment that was difficult for me. i turned to look at aunty prema and she was my strength. she thought me, just through the look on her face, that if she can be strong for her two sons and the rest of the family, why not me. my hat's off to her and my absolute admiration to her sons who throughout the whole ordeal acted the way any father would be proud of.

cremation. the scene of the casket becoming a victim of the incinerator was hard to bear for some who walked out the moment the casket disappeared from sight. i was among those people. moments of him came flashing through my head and all i wanted was for his soul to be at rest.

my heart goes out to all those affected by this tragedy. yes, we know it's not his time but let us all be there to pray and him know it's alright to cross over. for his soul to be at peace.

Aunty Prema, your strength during the ordeal is an inspiration to all who were present. and as your message said, we'll always be by your side. we're only a call away so please, never hesitate.

Muhes, know that no matter what the circumstance, what the reason, we'll all be here for you. you're never ever alone.

Vik, i know i've not been the best of your friends. i might not be the type to tell you everything that happens in my life and i do admit that. but i guess somehow, through all this, times we spent together hit me the hardest and i guess i really really do care about you and whatever you go through. i want you to be fine, i want you to always know that you're never alone. you got soo many sweet people around you like shahl, tash and thinesh who'll always be there for ya. and no matter how much i screw up, know that i'm always here. and i'll always be because you were the first person i ever considered and declared to be my best friend. till today, that hasn't changed.

mind at ease and i've said my peace. god bless you Uncle Yoges.