So on V day...

It's a shame that I'm alone this Valentine's but I'm gonna do what I can to take this positively.

I settled what I needed for work and ended up in a long bus ride to Indian Association to have a kick about with he cousins and their buddies when I began thinking.

It's been quite a while since I was last single. A REALLY long while and leaves me questioning if I have really fully matured. Can anyone of us truly said that we have matured if we've not experienced every phase that life has to offer?

I find myself dislocated. No idea of what I should be doing. I know that I should focusing on WV and work and family and friends and all that but instead, I'm trying to put myself out there again.

Why?

I don't get it. After 2 relationships of 3 years each, here I am looking to throw myself into another one. I can only link this to my need to be comfortable. Like I said previously, I have no idea where I'm going after this. I don't even know if I'm gonna end up getting married because, let's face it, I'm not gonna be 'marketable' in a couple of years down the road.

Or can I attest this to my need to see if I'm actually able to attract the opposite sex the way I've always been boasting about while I was with Rach. Though I knew that most of the time I was kidding, there were times that I actually wondered if I meant what I said. Well the more I ask myself, the more I have no idea which it is. I overthink waaay to fucking much. Heh!

Guess I'm gonna head off to my kick about and leave you with this,

"Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable." - Wizard of Oz

Happy Valentine's to one and all :) Especially the ones my heart goes out to :) you know who you are.