I feel nobody knows me. Knows the deep dark me that lurks beneath the shadows. If anyone does, they'll just leave me. For that I'm sure.
I want to learn to live alone but I can't. I soo weak that it disgusts me. I'm soo warped inside that it disgusts me. I'm soo selfish that only I matter and that really disgusts me.
I don't want to change to save the one thing that makes me happy because of a selfish need. Without even sparing a thought for her, for what she's been through. After all that, any person would do the right thing, but not me. I choose to stick by what I think is right and the norm. Life isn't normal. It's not about averages and statistics. It's about emotional experiences which moulds a person.
The dark side cannot grasp that and it's haunts me. I think I really might need help.
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